It’s not often you’d find me offering sympathy to members of the monarchy but the spectacle of having to sit through endless tiresome performances and trying to feign interest is a fate worse than Charles becoming King. In fact, our current head of state has entirely given up any pretence by scowling and the public still seem to love her anyway.”I am bilious quickly!” Victoria says as she runs from the room to be “indisposed from the mouth”. The music wasn’t THAT bad. Of course, it turns out she’s pregnant. Constant shagging without contraception tends to do that.
Not one to stay at home and take it easy, Victoria and Albert go away for a couple of days because they can. Butlins must have been fully booked that weekend so instead they visit the Giffords to wine and dine in the country. and shoot some birds in the process. That doesn’t happen in Minehead. Victoria’s early plea of “don’t talk railway at me” backfires when Robert Peel turns up and bonds with the Prince over trains and a passionate belief that they are the future. Albert scurries away in secret for a dirty day out (the coal gets everywhere) with the future Prime Minister and is even more a fanboy of the train than Simon Pegg is about Star Wars.
After another mini argument, Vicbert get things back on track when Vic takes a ride on the steam train herself and it’s fair too say she loved it almost as much as Bert did.
There might not have been the same excitement if they’d ever had to endure another Southern Rail strike or taste the poor quality of over priced sandwiches on their buffet carts but let us enjoy such naive enthusiasm for now.
Meanwhile, back at the palace, Skerrett and Francatelli are bonding over food and soon invent the ‘Bombe Surprise’ but we are still waiting for their romance to truly explode. Will we finally see them lick each other’s spoons next week? That’s probably considered second base in Victorian times.
The show has grown in confidence as the series has progressed and it really feels like it’s found its true identity now. Sadly we only have one episode left but I’m more than pleased that the tone has become more historical and this has been achieved with plenty of laughs. A lot of the improvement lies in the relationship between the Queen and Prince. It is both fiery and cute and there is so much fun interplay between the two. Vicbert rules OK. Literally.
Lame of thrones
Victoria: “Albert doesn’t know how to talk. He doesn’t know how to dissemble”
“The sagging cleft of power” Eeew
Albert’s knowledge of Carlisle was almost as impressive as his love of trains.
Victoria: “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not actually scared of Tories” You should be ma’am.
FYI, there is nothing wrong with beetroot. But then I am a peasant.
EXCLUSIVE: Never seen before selfie by Sir Robert Peel.
Jenna perv count
“You are going to look at my body and be revolted. I know it”. Never, Vic. NEVER.
Albert looking at a steam train: “It is the most magnificent thing I have ever seen”. Mate, THIS IS YOUR WIFE…
DIGITAL OBSERVATIONS 
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