Actual title: The King Over The Water
What it should have been named: The Queen Under The Duvet
Not for the first time, Victoria is subject to assassination attempts and this spurs the royals to seek temporary pastures new. Much like their visit to France, they try to swot up on the local customs. They endure bleak Scottish poetry.
They endure the “beastly instrument” of the bagpipes.
Albert angrily insists it “sounds like the noise a Deer makes when it is being slaughtered” but his wife finds it “rousing”. Or arousing depending on how you blow on it.
The plan of this visit over the border was to escape but King and Queen still find themselves surrounded by security so do a runner deep into the countryside in the style of Mark and Jez in the Quantocks. But on horseback. The cold and mist sets in they chance upon a cottage in the middle of nowhere. Rather than sharing rations of a chocolate bar they get an offer to stay the night. The alternative was freezing themselves into an early coffin.
Exactly Mark, this isn’t southern England. Keep up.
This is the most beautifully shot Victoria to date. The cinematography of the vast Scottish glens is absolutely breathtaking and place Jenna Coleman in shot too and it’s a veritable feast for the eyes.
As for the mystery of what a Scotsman keeps under his kilt, Miss Skerrett almost finds out but for her loyalty to Francatelli, a man who has yet to show the chief dressmaker what’s under his pans. Things are moving a bit quicker for Drummond and Alfred who stroll around the forest half-heartedly looking for the Queen. There are more pressing matters on their mind and it’s not just the trees that have got wood.
They finally get their freak on while overlooking a scenic lake with an orchestra playing. All of our first kisses have been like that though haven’t they? Will it be a case of what happens in Scotland stays in Scotland? Will their love remain unrequited? It’s unlikely to have a happy ending. At least they get the chance to suck on something when Wilhelmina insists they have a go on the bagpipes before returning home.
Matters of the heart still persist between E(a)rnest and Lady Sutherland and assuming his diseased genitals have cleared up, the death of her husband may have left a vacancy for him to..erm.. fill. However, his condolesences are initially brushed away.
But the old charmer is sure to get his wicked way and spread more of his creepy germs.
This penultimate episode was genuinely funny, heart warming and in complete contrast to last week’s heavy tone. When it gets the balance right, Victoria is a light, entertaining romp that’s worthy of the budget. Like last series it has improved towards the end and this may be down to no more secondary stories being set up uncomfortably.
Lame of thrones:
- Albert: “Safety must come before our inclinations”. Well, if you wore condoms, mate you’d have less children.
- Cooking fish on a fireplace has never had more sexual overtones.
- I want to go round saying “MY FELICITATIONS!” to random people for no good reason at all.
- Who else thought / hoped Jenna was going to get naked in this scene?
https://twitter.com/emiliastormborn/status/917152683693367297
DIGITAL OBSERVATIONS 
You must be logged in to post a comment.