Reviews Of ‘Victoria’ By A Jenna Coleman Fan Who Hates Period Dramas AND The Monarchy – Series 2, Episode 6

Actual title: Faith, Hope and Charity

What it should have been named:  Carbs, craps and STD’s

While last week was a jolly jaunt over the sea, a ‘Victoria Abroad’ if you will, the subject matter here is a much more bleak spectacle. The Irish potato famine is no laughing matter and is covered with great sensitivity and a subtle approach not usually associated with the show.

The sort of subtle approach this blog has I’m sure you’ll agree. Anyway, Robert Peel (who seems to live at Buckingham Palace) speaks of the “time war” to set us up. Hang on, the time war? What if there was some sort of massive button that if pressed can stop people dying of hunger?

Oh wait, it’s the tithe war. Sorry.

Elsewhere in Ireland we meet the Reverend Robert Traill who is battling his own religion and country in trying to get help for the starving. He soon gets an audience with the Queen, the lucky bastard.

Peel won’t budge from his usual stubborn mindset and when Victoria tells him to “come with me” and storms off to the bedroom he probably thought he was well in there. Sadly it just turned out that she wanted to guilt trip the Prime Minister into helping the Irish. He takes a little persuading by stating that “principles are a luxury” which made me wonder if the man was a surprising fan of two album noise makers Kinesis.

Alas, the chances are unlikley because the band formed in the year 2000, long after Peel’s death. Though what if he had access to some sort of box that could travel through time?

Tonight is all about doing the right thing. Francatelli offers his expensive swag to Miss Cleary so she can send money back to her family in Ireland. Victoria offers help too and even Peel stands up for his principles in parliament. And looks very smug about it. As the stats acknowledge at the end in a moving funeral scene, it was nowhere near enough.

Albert was not initially concerned with the lack of food of people in a different country and much more interested in food after it’s been digested by the people living in his country. It’s the circle of life.

The Palace was built on a sewer system apparently (make your own jokes) and installing new thrones with flushing capabilities is his piss de resistance.

Hygiene is less of an issue for E(a)rnest who pops up like a bad rash again. Ironic given he’s caught something nasty off one of his conquests. It’s not all bad news though as the husband of his lost love, the Lady of Sutherland has died in a freak accident. This paves the way for him to get his wicked way with the woman of his dreams at last. Just as long as he has a wash first. And wears protection.

Faith, Hope and Charity felt like the most cohesive work of the run to date and shows just what Victoria as a show is capable of when remaining focused. Not an easy watch by any stretch of the imagination but it deftly translated a time of huge human suffering onto the screen AND had a toilet joke.

Lame of thrones:

• Was anyone else expecting Ted Hastings to pop up and mumble about bent coppers?
• Is the Skerrett / Francatelli love story over and done with? They don’t seem that bothered by each other anymore.
• I can’t get that bloody Elton John song out of my head now.

 

 

Reviews Of ‘Victoria’ By A Jenna Coleman Fan Who Hates Period Dramas AND The Monarchy – Series 2, episode 2

Actual title: The Green-Eyed Monster

What it should have been named: The Fertile Trouser Snake

For an episode that didn’t feature much in the way of historical events, I myself had my own small slice of personal history as this was the first time I watched an episode of Victoria with my girlfriend. It was as close to my ultimate threesome as I will ever get. Kind of. We hugged and she wasn’t even facing the screen for most of it other than a moment when I had to remove a great big spider from the living room. It still counts.

The focus this week is the two main men in Victoria’s life (sadly I’m not one of them). Lord M, the unrequited love returns with not so much a blaze of glory but more a stumble in the hallway. Turns out he’s very ill but still more than willing to offer advice on a relationship he’s clearly jealous of.

As for Albert, is the shine coming off his ‘tache? When introduced in series 1 he turned out to be the perfect foil to Victoria, providing much need light relief.  He gave the show momentum but their bickering relationship has turned into a creature of predictability. It’s part of the furniture. Marriage has taken the excitement out of what was a sweet relationship. Make your own conclusions.

The Queen, who let’s not forget, is in love with another man and spends the episode seeking his approval finds herself filled with jealousy as Albert connects with Lady Lovelace over “thinking machine”s and mathematics. Victoria tries to work out engines and pies times the possibility of Albert having an affair like..

To be fair, the name Lady Lovelace does sound like a porn star’s moniker. It’s unusual that her fears are allayed by the news that the daughter of Byron has a husband and three children because… married people with kids never have affairs?

Once again the secondary storylines plod along awkwardly and stick out like David Davis at a Brexit negotiation. In a reversal of roles, Ernest is not the one doing the staring as he is chased by a blushing Wilhelmina Coke but seems oblivious to her advances. Perhaps he’s more of a Pepsi man?

Mmmm.. the taste of a new generation. What else? Ah yes, the Duchess of Buccleuch pulls some silly faces and Miss Skerrett is still getting a tough time from stroppy old Francatelli. Most frustratingly of all, the 45 minutes is broken up with a young boy stealing things around the palace and there is literally no conclusion or any attempt to tie it together with any other strand of the episode. Maybe it will next week but either way it smacks of bad pacing.

Herein lies my underlying problem with period dramas in a nutshell. Amid all the lingering looks and over bearing prissiness nothing much happens. As the credits roll we are not much further on in the story than we were at the titles. Remember this is one of our most famous monarchs ruling at an important time in history but instead we are being wrapped up in nonsensical matters of the heart. It’s all very well dreaming up an imaginary love between Victoria and Lord M but we know nothing happens so where is the intrigue? Where is the drama? Everything looks beautiful and rich in detail but step away from the antechambers and you’re left stood in a shed that’s empty bar a baby’s cot.

Vic and Albs reunite at the end, smooching on some steps at the surprising news that her morning sickness and grumpiness is caused by pregnancy number two. They’re gonna need a bigger shed. .

Lame of thrones 

• Who the hell made those Mercedes adverts and can they be sacked with immediate effect? It makes me nostalgic for the Sainsbury’s ones
• I think my girlfriend should start calling me Lord M. My name’s Michael, see?
• On a plus note, the terrible CGI has been toned down this year to not so terrible.
• Melbourne: “Perhaps you would allow me to show you my collection”

Victoria: