Reviews Of ‘Victoria’ By A Jenna Coleman Fan Who Hates Period Dramas AND The Monarchy – Series 2, Episode 3

Actual title: Warp And Weft

What it should have been named: Death And Taxes

Romantic shenanigans are thankfully put on the back burner this week and it makes for a more streamlined episode. With good intentions, Victoria organises a ball for the struggling silk weavers of Spitalfields (which sounds like it could be a name of an obscure naughties indie band) but the pomp and ceremony of the event causes uproar. As royalty prances about in silly hats to flutes and banjos the word on the street is disgust. Sadly The Cooper Temple Clause didn’t get an invite to play Buckingham Palace unlike their fictional contemporaries. Here they are looking very glum about it. .

The issue of privilege is an important one whenever it comes to monarchy and it’s highlighted effectively when an iced swan glides through the decadent halls to the sounds of an angry parliament.

True to form, the point has to be made louder just in case you didn’t get the message and we see baying masses outside the palace intercut with trippy close ups of leftover food. Like Victoria had just dropped an acid and got the munchies. At least we get many close ups of Jenna’s amazing side profile.

See what I mean?

Lord M, in a vague illness that’s developed quicker than you can say “whigs”, is slowing down. His memory and speech decaying with each scene. Oh and Dash is suddenly old but time goes quicker in dog years, right?  Pulling a rabbit out of the hat, Daisy Goodwin accomplishes Victoria’s most sentimental moments yet. Melbourne’s demise was accompanied by the chirps of a toy bird given as a gift by the Queen. The camera cuts from the former Prime Minister and closes in on the cage as its chirps stutter to a halt and silence fills the screen. Now THAT is drama. But Daisy is not just content with ripping the heart out of middle aged women so in a twist of that could be called historical inaccuracy, Victoria walks in on a prostrate Dash and breaks down with the heartache of it all. If you don’t feel sad at the death of a fictional dog then you are NOTHING to me.

Surprising they didn’t turn Dash into a new rug for their bedroom floor and instead gave him a little funeral. Did the cute eared little thing leave anything of worth in his will or do they have to keep surviving off pheasant dinners? Find out next week..

Lame of thrones

• Albert’s new hat looked like a Poundland special. A lame throne indeed.
• E(a)rnest is going back to Coburg. Let’s hope he stays there so we don’t have to put up with his lovesick frowning.
• The stealing urchin reappeared. For a small moment. Perhaps he nicked bits of his script?
• Vic was really talking about Lord M in her grief. Poor Dash.

Reviews Of ‘Victoria’ By A Jenna Coleman Fan Who Hates Period Dramas AND The Monarchy – Episode 6

There must be something funny in the water at Buckingham Palace this week for Victoria has descended into pure comedy with lots of hot snogging. The two main reasons why I’m really starting to love this show.

Poor Albert is struggling in his new position this week, well some positions he’s clearly good at but when it comes to his status within the monarchy and his grip of British eccentricities? There he struggles. He’s a lost soul reduced to blotting letters. “How delightful” indeed.  When he huffs that “the dogs wear jewellery, the piano’s are out of tune and all people talk about is the weather” it is a great moment. His misfortune is our joy. From how to pronounce Leicester to the ways of the muffin man..

.. it’s all alien to him. All the plaudits go to Tom Hughes whose performance of this frosty, seemingly cold man has gradually won us over with a mix of comedy and dramatic presence. Albert is a man of strong principles and he steps in to make a speech on the slave trade where Victoria herself feels she can’t because of its political nature. His speech goes down a storm and victory is his for once.

As for our Queen, her screen time is overshadowed by her husband this week but there’s still some great moments. She manipulates the Duke of Sussex into changing tradition for the benefit of her man but he’s not exactly ecstatic about it. Unsurprisingly. More notable is her approach to contraception. In a bid to keep at it like rabbits on poppers, Victoria takes some advice from Lehzen. Not giving away any spoilers but Dash the dog saw it all and was like..

So, are the sub plots getting anywhere ? Hand on heart I don’t have a scooby what’s going on between Miss Skerrett and the chef bloke. Not a scooby.  Maybe he’s not as sinister as he first seemed? Who knows. Hey, as he’s a chef  I guess you could say he serves up some

Or not. Meanwhile Ernest is trying to charm the married Lady Sutherland with a game of archery. Which is both dangerous and open to all sorts of stupid cupid puns. But as soon as he makes his intentions clear he says goodbye to the palace and shoots off back to Germany faster than you can say “archer’s paradox”. In truth it seems a  bit of a damp squib but at least he’s not going to get all stalky and creepy which is a good thing. Yet.

From Victoria’s dubious attempt at going incognito to Albert’s general lost puppy vibe, this was a wonderfully funny episode that touched on a serious issue too. Perhaps the strongest of the series. They’ve got me, I’ve been taken in. I’m now a fully paid up member of the VicBert occult. God save me Queen.

Lame of thrones

“They laugh at my accent, I’ve seen the cartons where I’m drawn as a sausage”. Welcome to Britain Albert, welcome to Britain.

Francatelli: “I find myself thinking about you sometimes when I’m in my sugar work” Is that what they called it in those days?  I hope he washes his hands before making the dinner.

To be fair to the Prince, it does look like Ly-sester

Sorry, Lord.. who?

Jenna perv count

In modern parlance, Jenna was “a precious cinnamon roll” for the whole episode. No, I don’t get it either.

In fact, she was just cute as flip.