Reviews Of ‘Victoria’ By A Jenna Coleman Fan Who Hates Period Dramas AND The Monarchy – Series 2, Episode 8

Actual title: The Luxury Of Conscience

What it should have been named: The End Of Foreboding

And so it comes to pass, the final chapter of the second series is designed to pull at the heartstrings with little concern for historical accuracy. Relationships formed are torn apart and a death is on the cards.

Albert’s war with Lehzen seems a bit out of the blue. Sure, they’ve never got on but I suppose if anything is going to trigger the prince’s ultimatum of “either she leaves or I do” it’s Lehzen’s total disregard for the health of their daughter. Here is unseen footage of the baroness plotting the death of an innocent child..

It turns out alright in the end though because the grim reaper has another appointment this episode and he can’t be in two places at once.

Victoria has to choose between her husband and her slave and so it’s Lehzen that gets the marching orders. Nobody is shedding a tear. Well, the Queen is but there’ll be another servant to fill her horrid, cold boots soon enough.

Drummond and Alfred’s flourishing relationship is put down before its dog has had a run in the park. Drummond is shot protecting his dad outside parliament (a fictional take on proceedings) leaving Alfred understandably heartbroken but unable to grieve in public.

A more legal Bromance ends in tears too. Robert Peel’s determination to repeal the Corn Laws succeeded but it was political suicide.

Peel offers his resignation and that means there will no longer be excitable conversations between him and the Prince about trains. Truly the saddest moment of all in this finale. Other than that, it’s difficult to find sympathy with infighting Tories. Seasons change, fashions change, even aspect ratios on televisions change but the Conservatives will always be self-obsessed bigots and that’s something even a lightweight period drama got down to a tee.

Things look on the up for E(r)nest and his chances of getting into Lady Sutherland’s garments but it’s a good job their tête-à-tête was interrupted as we soon learn that he is not free from his syphilis and that makes him indisposed from sexy pants action.  Even I felt a little sorry for the fella.

It was a dark hour of telly all in all, especially those bloody Mercedes adverts, but there was one ray of sunlight through the clouds. Francatelli and Miss Skerrett are finally courting (as my dad still calls it) and a kiss was caused by what could be the two most Victorian chat up lines yet: “You do make very good tarts” and “would you like to come under my parasol”. Let’s hope that this is a relationship that lasts and that the  dressmaker doesn’t accidentally put a pin in her heart or the chef has a soggy bottom.

A second series is wrapped up and after eight weeks of magically multiplying babies, heartbreak and deaths it’ll be good to have a break and focus on the rubbish stuff that’s going on in our own lives. After it’s refusal to start early on in the series, Victoria finished strongly like a horse on speed at the Cheltenham festival. Speaking of horses, a small one (I believe they’re called ponies) has invaded the palace and is seen as some sort of happy ever after. Sure it is, until it shits everywhere. Perhaps that’s the plot of the Christmas special.

Lame of thrones:

• Why hasn’t Albert punched his dad yet? The poor wall that was on the receiving end did not deserve that.
• There wasn’t enough Vicbert snogging this series. Dear ITV…

Reviews Of ‘Victoria’ By A Jenna Coleman Fan Who Hates Period Dramas AND The Monarchy – Episode 8

 

Every good series finale needs its fair share of impending doom and the vultures are circling Victoria. There is the deep worry that she may die in childbirth and added to that are Lord Cumberland’s unsubtle threats about the Queen’s downfall. It is a fantastically pantomime performance from Peter Firth who scowls more than he did in all series of Spooks combined. Of course, we know that she will not come in harm’s way so it is a credit to Daisy Goodwin that the tension is ramped up enough to be an entertaining hour of television. Forget all that famous recorded history stuff and just go with the flow.

While the letters from weirdo Queen fanboy Captain Childers was clumsily introduced mere minutes before his rant at the monarch (perhaps we could have had the scene where Lehzen bins his post last week?) it combines well with Cumberland’s desire for the throne. It turns out the assassination attempt was by Mr Oxford, a member of the Young England society which sound like they were an old school, working class version of UKIP without the lunch and travel expenses. However, it is the Queen’s ultimate fanboy Albert who heroically carries her from the cart and to safety. Suspicions that Cumberland gave the orders to pull the trigger reign and Oxford looks set to escape with a plea of insanity, leading Victoria to fear a life of incarceration due to safety fears. You could say SHE. WANTS. TO. BREAK. FREEEEE

Victoria’s strength shines through and she soon picks herself up to face the public again but her greatest moment comes when verbally destroying Cumberland.

Meanwhile, Ernest saunters back into the palace to cheer up his brother and maybe cheer up his downstairs mix up too. He again makes his intentions clear to Lady Sutherland, “If you had married a different kind of man. One who thought about you every moment you were apart. One who saw the way the curls fell on your neck in his dreams…” Ooh, Ernest. That even gave me shivers you old rogue you. Despite the lovelorn glances and steamy kisses, they do what they feel is right and leave it at that. With only a lock of her hair to show for his endeavours he walks away from her room with his unused tail between his legs. You sense he might be stroking that every single night. The lock of hair that is. Stop it with your dirty minds.

More romantic toing and froing  with Nancy and  Francatelli, who is going to new food based pastures and wants Nancy at his side. Alas, she decides she may be better off living in a grand palace. Funny that. True to form, for a story that’s been clumsily bubbling under the surface for weeks, it fizzled out on a whimper. It used up a lot of screen time that could have been assigned to the more meatier plots. That reminds me Mr chef, could you do us up a bacon sarnie before you go? There’s a good chap.

While there isn’t a happy ending for everyone else, Victoria and Albert are at one with child as the credits roll and its rather refreshing to end things on a positive note. Jenna Coleman has been “a revelation” to some but then she’s bloody great so why are people surprised? Her innocence and attitude have been perfectly channelled into this tiny ball of wonder. As for Tom Hughes, the show went from strength to strength with his introduction and while the make believe romance with Lord Melbourne was a charming distraction, the real love of Vicbert is much more affecting. So there you have it, my initial cynicism waned with every episode and I’d be probably be watching the next series even if Jenna wasn’t in it. I can’t pay Daisy Goodwin a higher compliment than that.

Lame of thrones

Albert really does have a sense of humour and it turns out he likes bad puns. That is the best kind of humour.

“A palace this size can never have too many teaspoons”. Nobody tell Uri Geller.

The scenes with Mr Oxford confirmed something I’ve been thinking these last few weeks: Victoria is like a glossy Ripper Street. Glossy Street. Glossingham Palace.

Jenna perv count

Tom Hughes got to kiss Jenna’s nose AND be paid for it. This is a mixture of emotions for me as it is my ultimate life goal but the seething jealousy is strong.

Hopes for series two

I really hope we get more commentary of the Victorian era away from just the Monarchy’s point of view.

Cut out the CGI or get better CGI. I was not amused.

A full on, disgustingly graphic sex scene between Vic and Albert. Something that’ll offend Sainsbury’s so much that they stop doing those bloody adverts during the show.