Sometimes it’s the things that catch you off guard that impress the most. While suffering from Lockdown boredom it’s not just social things that are being distanced, my brain is leaving reality too. The new normal is dull isn’t it? To make things worse there’s frankly nowt much on right now, terrestrially speaking, so I found myself watching Gregg Wallace gurn at pasties and chase swede like a hyperactive whirling dervish on Inside The Factory. Why? Because my cousin works for Ginsters and I was trying to spot him. However, the show’s main achievement was putting me off a product where Gregg’s spit was the main ingredient. These are strange times indeed. I left BBC2 on and absent-mindedly started to scroll through Twitter but blunt northern tones emanating from the idiot box soon grabbed my attention.
I recognised one voice in particular. That of the comedian Sophie Willan. I soon put my phone down because funny things were happening, I know, right? A comedy that is actually funny. And wait, there’s Jayde Adams playing Alma’s best friend. There’s also Siobhan Finneran pulling out an exceptionally unhinged performance as her mum or as she’s described “the Iggy Pop of the psych ward”.
Alma’s Not Normal is based on Sophie’s own 2017 Edinburgh show ‘Branded’. It was a deeply personal account of her upbringing. From having a a mum addicted to drugs, to her own time in care and being a sex worker. If that sounds bleak then don’t worry because Willan’s comic factory has put it through the giggle blender and onto the conveyer belt of weird – thankfully Greg Wallace is not smiling creepily over it. Hilarity most definitely ensues. She’s “the baby from Trainspotting, If she’d lived” In a strange twist of TV fate Alma even buys pasties for a day trip. Spit free ones hopefully. Especially with this virus going around.
In one thirty minute pilot Alma’s Not Normal managed to set up a fully conceived world full of charm, laughs and fried spam. The character’s are colourful and loveable in their own certain way and there’s a fully conceived world that’s been instantly constructed which is bursting with new stories to tell. If Alma is the new normal than sign me the fook up.
Now that we’ve ticked over into a decade that actually has a name it’s time to process a time that many have named a “golden age” in television. By the way, if you’re one of those people who actually think the twenties start in 2021 then stop reading this blog because you are clearly insane and need help. And a calendar. When we’re born we’re not suddenly aged one are we?! There’s a bit of time between! They’re called months!
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Sorry, where was I? Ah yes. Here is my personal list of my favourite shows of the last ten years. There’s no Fleabag because no matter how good it is there’s the inescapable feeling that it is overrated. There’s no Game of Thrones either. I saw the first episode and once you’ve seen Emelia Clarke naked it’s not going to get any better than that is it?
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This has been an intense work about a great passion of mine.. TV that is – not Emelia Clarke’s bum. That’s a blog for another time. Feel free to debate, disagree and even rave about the show’s in my list. It’s all a matter of opinion. There will never be a definitive list because art speaks to us in many different ways. These are the show’s that made my heart beat faster, made me laugh and made me cry. God bless television…
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30: What Remains (BBC1) 2013
David Threlfall couldn’t be further from Frank Gallagher here. As Detective Len Harper he finds himself on the other side of the law in this claustrophobic whodunnit. When the decomposed body of a woman is found in an apartment all of the houses residents are suspects. Intriguingly and thoughtfully paced, What Remains is an underrated work.
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29: Catastrophe (Channel 4) 2015-19
From a dysfunctional couple to an even more dysfunctional family, creators Sharon Horgan and Rob Delaney put their namesakes through the mill with a mixture of highly developed intelligent comedy and plenty of potty mouthed goodness. A warts and all look into modern relationships.
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28: People Just Do Nothing (BBC3) 2014-18
The mockumentary on a mock pirate radio station kurupt FM. Consider yourself mocked with strange garage beats and the ridiculous adventures of a gang with the common sense of school children. Funnier that Craig David’s back catalogue, People Just Do Nothing has a unique flow and poetry to its comedy.
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27: Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience (BBC Wales) 2010-18
It’s official, Rhod Gilbert can make anything funny. In one of the episodes he works in a hotel and changes beds yet manages to weild more laughs than Basil Fawlty achieved before serving breakfast. He flies a plane, becomes a vet and even poses as a male model. However, what truly makes the show is Rhod’s gruff, cynical and quick-fire narration. His unrelenting one-liners prove he should stick with being a comedian.
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26: Doctor Foster (BBC1) 2015-17
Suranne Jones gives a powerhouse performance as a woman betrayed by the equally screen stealing Bertie Carvel. It’s a small town show with grand ideas, some of them absolutely barmy, but Mike Bartlett’s script pushes the intrigue and suspense to extreme levels. It’s a theatre play portrayed as a glossy small screen spectacle. Doctor Foster is about the complexities of adult relationships but with a heightened, melodramatic fizz.
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25: Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle (BBC2) 2009-2016
You know Stewart Lee, you’ve seen him. On the telly. His Comedy Vehicles are thirty minute, meandering diatribes and they are essential. Between his takes on “The UKIPS” and Chris Moyles, Lee berates himself and the audience in ever decreasing stages of madness. Iconic television that deserved more love.
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24: Broadchurch (ITV) 2013-17
It’s easy to forget the cultural impact of Broadchurch back in the first season. The nation was hooked on the mystery of Danny Latimer’s death but it was in the harrowing effect on the local community where writer Chris Chibnall really struck gold. David Tennant and Olivia Colman as Hardy and Miller, two cops thrown together, were the definition of chemistry.
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Yes, series two was a bit of a letdown but the change of direction in the last run got the show back within touching distance of greatness again with a difficult subject handled with class. Series one won’t just be a classic of the last ten years, it will forever be a classic nonstop.
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23: Taskmaster (Dave) 2015-
Put a bunch of comedians in a room and you’re bound to be entertained. Get them to do ridiculous tasks and put them in a room to talk about doing the ridiculous tasks and you have an instant comedy franchise. Greg Davies and Alex Horne monitor proceedings in the hope things get out of hand and they often do. For instance, that time Liza Tarbuck got Alex to sit on a cake with his naked bottom.
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22: Bang (S4C) 2017-
A multilingual crime drama based in Port Talbot, Bang was an intense thriller which was essentially about one single gun and the chain of effects it has. Dark, twisty and so beautifully shot the town itself was a main character. Stories are rarely told from these corners of Britain and the good news is there’s a second series starts in early 2020.
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21: Stranger Things (Netflix) 2016-
It was acceptable in the 2010s. Hmm, not quite so catchy is it? The Duffer brothers piled on the nostalgia and dayglow horror to provide Netflix with one of their biggest ever hits. While evil tree branchy type things are the focus of the show’s evil, Stranger Things is all the classic buddy movies brought to the small screen.
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Let’s face it, things with child actors are usually fucking awful but the show’s biggest success is how wonderful the main cast are. The third series saw an evolution and change of direction so hopes are high for the future of Stranger Things.
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20: Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish(Dave) 2013-17
Imagine Black Mirror if it was much more obscure and performed by a comedian. That’s the pitch. Dave Gorman is in the form of his life as he studies the intricacies of modern day living with his own unique perspectives. Be it online shopping, hassling Alan Sugar with billboards or furrowing the real depths of the internet – the comment sections. Cynical but warm, opinionated but friendly. Modern Life is Goodish was most excellentish.
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19: Cucumber (Channel 4) 2015
Russell T. Davies wrote a study on modern day homosexuality through they eyes of Henry (the excellent Vincent Franklin) a middle-aged man who has his life turned upside down after a party that involves a death. He flees his previously stable relationship to house share with a flat full of young strangers led by 19 year old Dean.
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In typical Davies style Cucumber is laced with innuendo and high energy plotting. It’s some of the bravest drama commited to television. It’s funny and heartbreaking and leaves you on a constant seesaw between the two. There is one particular scene that is so shocking it’ll effect you for days. You’ll know it when you see it.
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While being crude without ever being tasteless, Cucumber was always about the bigger message. By challenging society’s perceptions of gayness and all sexuality it stands the test of time. The last, subtle line uttered by Henry is quite the ending for this one and done series.
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18: Spotless (Netflix) 2015
Jean Bastiere’s life was perfect on the surface with his lovely family and big house but appearances are deceiving. His job could almost be a metaphor for he runs a business that cleans up after crime scenes. His world is turned upside down when his brother Martin visits with a freezer and a dead body inside. Like you do. What follows is a chain of events that spiral out of control, so much so they end up working for a mob by clearing up their dirty work.
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Spotless is dramatic, cinematic and full of bleak humour in the darkest of circumstances. It’s the compelling story of a good man taken way out of his comfort zone but it’s Denis Menochet who plays Martin’s scruffy womanising bad boy with glee that steals the show.
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As compelling as it was gory, a second series was on the cards but sadly it seems network wranglings have put paid to those hopes. We’ll have to keep Spotless as an eternal sunshine of our minds.
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17: Misfits (E4) 2009-2015
Not all superheroes wear capes – some wear boilersuits. Cruder than Superman in a brothel, more disgusting than Batman’s coke habit but funnier than Ardal O’ Hanlon in My Hero. Seriously.
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Five juvenile offenders team up to do community service but a freak thunderstorm gives them powers they don’t understand and the magical ability to kill all their probation officers. Clumsy.
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If Misfits had been American then it’d have been glossy and the superpowers would have been useful. Instead these delinquents botch their way through misadventures while trying to shag eachother.
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Misfits flows with energy and off-kilter weirdness. From the bizarre (sample line: “Fuck the Tortoise, Alex”) to the blasphemous (THAT nativity scene).
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While it didn’t quite adjust to an entirely new cast with as much comfort as a certain show that is higher on this list, Misfits was and will always be a riot.
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16: My Mad Fat Diary (E4) 2013-15
An eye-catching take on teenage life based on the real-life experiences and book of Rae Earl. It’s Sharon Rooney’s task to express Rae’s issues with body image, mental health and self-abuse and she does so with great dignity and humour. If this had been a movie and not tucked away on E4 then all the awards would have been falling at Rooney’s feet
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Set in the nineties, My Mad Fat Diary tells the story of her interegration into a group of school friends, one of whom is Chloe, played by the then up and coming Jodie Comer. You may have heard of her?
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Colourful, brash and highly inventive yet all that still ignores the kick ass nineties soundtrack. By using The Charlatans’ ‘One To Another’ as the theme song it was never going to do wrong was it?
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15: Sherlock (BBC1) 2010-17
These Sherlock Holmes adventures set in present day London were full of writer’s Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ usual sense of wonder and wilful deception. Everything clicked from the first minute and in Benedict Cumberbatch a rising star shone brightly.
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The feature length episodes flew by with the help of brilliant dialogue and eye-catching cinematography, a lot of which has been copied to death since. Sherlock was fun and over the top but it’s extremity was what made it a trendsetter. Incredibly crafted plotlines took unexpected tangients and series 4, which many hated, was all the madness spilling over. Did it jump the shark by the end? Yes. Was it still highly watchable crime drama with twists galore? Absolutely.
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14: Uncle (BBC3) 2014-17
Nick Helm plays the dishevelled Andy who is forced to be young Errol’s (Elliot Speller-Gillott) uncle in nature more than just in name and a beautiful if strange friendship results. So far, so very twee you’re thinking? Except it’s done under the influence of alcohol and drug addiction while bursting into inappropriate songs. Dylan Moran even appears as a wizard. Potty mouthed but full of emotional resonance, Uncle was a family pack of laughter.
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13: Black Mirror (Channel 4 & Netflix) 2011-
Black Mirror’s first ever episode involved the Prime Minister fucking a pig and that’s one of the more normal plots that bears resembence to our times. Charlie Brooker’s anthology series on mankind’s relationship with technology might have dystopian overtones but sometimes the stories reflect the news in the months that follow transmission.
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Dark, twisted, satirical, frightening and sometimes, just sometimes funny. A constant parade of strong casts and intriguing plots mean Black Mirror continues to be worryingly relevant and episodes such as ‘San Junipero’ and ‘Hang The DJ’ prove it’s not all doom and gloom.
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12: Luther (BBC1) 2010-2019?
Idris Elba is commanding as detective John Luther. Sure, his personal life is complex but it gets a lot weirder when he runs into Alice Morgan (played with a devilish viguer by Ruth Wilson). Alice is a murderer our antagonist can’t lock up. Against all odds they form a crime fighting partnership which surprisingly doesn’t follow rules.
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In short, Luther is a mad show. A crime drama that’s permanently heightened and that’s where the fun lies. Writer Neil Cross revels in the world of this alternative London with a dark hearted crime drama that’s both thrilling and extremely gory. It’s a near perfect balance of murder mystery and action. You’re either not into Luther or you’re along for the whole ride. Just don’t get the night bus, eh?
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11: Happy Valley (BBC1) 2014-
Writer and creator Sally Wainwright had a prolific decade of not just hit television, but top quality television at that. Last Tango In Halifax, Scott & Bailey and Gentlemen Jack add to what was an already impressive CV but arguably the high-water mark is Happy Valley.
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Sarah Lancashire is sensational as police sergeant Catherine Caewood, a woman struggling with her daughter’s suicide and living with her alcoholic sister. Tommy Lee Royce, played by James Norton who is clearly enjoying going dark side. Tommy has recently been released from prison. The thing is, he raped Catherine’s daughter and was ultimately responsible for for her death, not that he got locked up for that. His new found freedom causes fractures in catherines personal and work life.
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Gritty is a word that could sum up Happy Valley as the backdrop for all this is a small working class town riddled with poverty and addiction. These are themes that run through the show.
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The dialogue is so masterfully constructed and real to life and an impressive cast brings life to this little world with big problems. Wainwright has such a natural ability to make characters real and not just half-arsed sketches.
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Despite such a huge chasm of time since the last series there is a third in the works but it’s likely we’ll have to wait at least a couple more years. The pace of life in the country is slower to be fair.
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10: Inside No.9 (BBC2) 2014-
From the, let’s say perverse, minds that gave us The League Of Gentlemen and Psychoville came a horror anthology as shocking as it was surprising. Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton dreamt up the surreal, the creepy, the mad and everything else on the bonkers spectrum.
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By it’s very nature there will be episodes that disappoint, it’s range of tone and subjects won’t translate to everyone at all times, but if you don’t take to one episode it’s likely you’ll fall in love with the next. When it excels it’s one of the best things committed to telly. The variation and depth of material is to be respected.
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The silent episode ‘A Quiet Night In’ was the first hint that we had something special but the tone always shifts. Take ‘The 12 Days of Christine’ which is genuinely heartbreaking. Or Zanzibar which is a hotel based farce spoken entirely in spoof Shakespearian. In ‘Diddle Diddle Dumpling’ a man becomes obsessed with a stray shoe. There’s plenty more where that came from.
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2018’s live Halloween special could have been the moment Inside No.9 ate itself but they mastered every detail to perfection and so high was the concept they got viewers switching off in droves. That’s art that is.
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The new decade will usher in the fifth series and as usual we have no idea what to expect other the the number nine being involved. Who knows, maybe even that’s not a guarantee.
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9: Detectorists (BBC4) 2014-17
In a decade where cynicism grew exponentially, MacKenzie Crook offered an obscure form of light relief. Tucked away on BBC4 and offering a comforting hug to those who discovered it in the ditches of the TV schedules, Detectorists was never really about metal detecting – it was about friendship. Hapless though Lance and Andy were the important thing is they were nice. That’s it. It’s not very fashionable is it? We willed them to be better with women. We hoped they would find their pot of gold.
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Through stunning shots of the English countryside Detectorists brought a warm glow even if the weather conditions were drizzly. Lance and Andy nattering about nonsense was the heart of the show of course but no show is complete without a nemesis and in the ridiculous form of the ‘Antiquisearchers’ (or Simon & Garfunkel to be more precise) they definitely didn’t meet their match. So much comic gold was mined when the pairs squared up against each other.
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Let’s also not forget the oddball characters that made up the Danebury Metal Detecting Club and their awkward, mostly pointless meetings. It all added to a small world with a big heart. This should go down as an all-time classic comedy, one that gave our flawed antiheroes the ending they deserved.
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8: Community (NBC & Yahoo Screen) 2009-2015
Meet Jeff Winger, a lawyer who finds himself at Greendale Community College after having his degree revoked. Jeff stands as the morale conscience of the show despite not having many morals. He meets dipsy Troy, geeky Abed, grouchy Pierce, bubbly Shirley, cutesy Annie and not so brittle Britta. They’re the seven dwarfs of pop culture references and meta comedy.
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What starts out as pretty standard fare soon blossoms into a programme full of creativity and fierce intelligence. Community starts descending, or rather ascending into a world of crazy parodies and obscure ideas with the crazy dial up at eleven. There’s the spectacular episode where we visit many different timelines including Abed’s darkest. There’s the paintball episodes where Greendale keeps becoming a surreal shooting range. Then there’s the episode that is entirely animated. If these sound a bit too gimmicky then there’s the bottle episode where they’re in one room just looking for Annie’s pen.
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Creator and lead writer Dan Harmon (now in charge of Rick And Morty) was absent from the often ridiculed fourth series which the show itself later referred to as “the gas leak year”. We had six seasons in the end but will we ever get the movie?
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7: Mongrels (BBC3) 2010-11
RUSSELL HOWARD’S EYES! Yes this is a high placing and it’s fully deserved. Welcome to the back garden of a pub in the Isle of Dogs, this way madness lies. Maybe “welcome” isn’t the word because being called a cunt may not be considered de rigueur in polite society… and this isn’t polite society. Only posh fox Nelson could fall under that category for he’s a metro-sexual il Divo fan.
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The rest of the puppet reprobates that make up the cast are Vince the sweary fox, Kali the bad pun pigeon and Destiny the selfish dog but the less said about her the better (if only they’d followed up on the hint that she’d died at the end of series one) Lastly, and certainly not least there’s Marion the bin dwelling cat who is many furballs short of common sense.
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While clearly influenced by fast-paced American comedies, Mongrels revels in the shitness of Britain. It’s crude, lewd and even offensive if you’re of a certain disposition. No subjects are off limits and it proved more cutting than any satirical show out there. They managed to do this in stories about Marion getting stuck in a wheel and training Michael Jackson’s monkey to stop masturbating.
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It’s scattered with pop culture references, some of which have admittedly dated in the past ten years but many still stick. There’s also lots of brief appearances from celebrities willing to be ridiculed. Let’s face it, some are more known than others. Who’s Paul Ross?
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Then there are the songs, oh boy, those songs. Marion’s ode to his underage sweetheart Lollipop, Nelson’s tourist advertisement for Millwall (“No-one’s been stabbed here since Friday / Arson is on the decline”). The previously mentioned monkey singing of his desire to murder Justin Bieber. There are so many slices of inappropriate should have been hits.
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The attention to detail in both the puppetry and blink and you miss them visual jokes show a real creativity that’s gone into making of the show. The voice work is exceptional too with nods to Rufus Jones as Nelson and Dan Tetsell’s baffling transilvanian accent for Marion being the true stars of the show.
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Mongrels was cut short when in its prime as the best things often are, like Princess Diana and Fuse bars.
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6: Utopia (Channel 4) 2013-14
Meeting people you know online in real life isn’t as frowned upon as it once was but if Utopia is anything to go by, perhaps it should be. Foul mouthed Becky (Alexandra Roach), straight laced Ian (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett) and the paranoid Wilson Wilson (Adeel Akhtar) had been chatting together on a forum about ‘The Utopia Experiment’. This is a graphic novel which allegedly predicted the disasters of the previous century but it’s the unpublished follow up which everyone thinks will save the human race, that makes people lose their minds.
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This new strange alliance sets out to find the manuscript for good reasons but ‘The Network’ want it for bad and go on a killing spree. Neil Maskell is fascinating as the sullen Arby, the murderer who has his own catchphrase in “Where is Jessica Hyde?!” We, the viewer soon find her and she’s played with relish by Fiona O’ Shaughnessy.
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In keeping with the comic book theme, the palette in Utopia is visually striking with its bright, bold colours where yellow is the stand out. Look very closely and you’ll see how much it subtly filters into virtually every element of the show. It adds to the uniqueness of a thriller that would stand on its own anyway.
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The brilliant soundtrack supplied by Cristobal Tapia de Veer is another important factor. The electronic glitches and uneasy bleeps sit perfectly with the oddness of the world Dennis Kelly has created. Imagine The Chemical Brothers on antidepressants.
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Utopia is darkly comic and comically gruesome. While not the fastest moving of shows, the storytelling, humour and sense of farce are what give the urgency. Never a show to play it safe, so much so that the first episode of the second run was a genesis story featuring none of the main cast. From humble beginnings to eugenics and the dark forces behind it, this was a television masterclass and it’s influence on television dramas that followed is clear.
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Everyone on the screen is playing a blinder (that’s an in-joke for fans) but there are two stand out performances. Alexandra Roach embodies the opinionated and strong willed Becky with classic one liners and Adeel Akhtar’s nerdy, complex Wilson Wilson is so good they named him twice.
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If Utopia has one major flaw it’s that there was no resolution. The story hadn’t finished and that is an insult to the writer, cast and fans. Series two ended on a cliffhanger and then Channel 4 pulled the plug. The Network were evil commissioners all along. There was talk of a streaming site taking it on but nothing ever materialised. There is however an American remake in the offing but that must be greeted with cynicism. The original story wasn’t fully told, why start a new one? There wasn’t a show like this before and there hasn’t been one since. Utopia is small screen paradise – if paradise involves a lot of bad language and killing.
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5: Peaky Blinders (BBC1) 2013-
Back in 2013 the thought of Cillian Murphy playing a gangster would have seemed like we’d entered Abed’s dark timeline again. “Remember I’m an actor” he told writer Steven Knight when doubts were raised and what an actor he is. This slight, pretty man inhabited the demons of Tommy Shelby and made him walk tall into TV history.
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Peaky Blinders tells the story of a family between two wars. Brothers Tommy and Arthur are struggling to cope after returning as soldiers. Their PTSD manifests itself in different ways, Tommy is the brains of the operation and Arthur is the attack dog. The Shelby Company limited sets up an illegal bookies and they also start exporting booze and drugs. Needless to say they get caught up with all the wrong kinds of people. Or wronger kind of people.
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Peaky manages to be extremely violent and yet sumptuous to watch. It is crafted to near perfection to create a believable if grim world. Aesthetically no other show can compare as a period piece with this amazing interpretation of the times.
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Backed up by a stellar cast including Helen McCrory and Sophie Rundle and guests such as Sam Neil, Paddy Considine and some bloke called Tom Hardy, Peaky Blinders continues to deliver shocks and emotional gut punches. Should we care so much about a criminal gang? Of course not but the combination of Knight’s writing, the remarkable direction, loud as fuck soundtrack and perfect cast means we can loosen our morals a little.
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4: No Offence (Channel 4) 2015-18
Crime Dramas have been ten a penny the last ten years but creator Paul Abbott had his own take on the genre. Sure, there were elements of ‘Shameless’ in the DNA but this was like no show ever seen before. No Offence was chaotic, bizarre and hard hitting. It was fast moving and dialogue heavy, so much so it could almost be disorientating. Hilarious one liners and ludicrous situations mixed effortlessly with big issues such as the murders of girls with Downs Syndrome, child slavery and far right politics.
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With all that going on you need the performances to pay off so step forward Joanna Scanlan as Viv Deering. Viv is intense, playful, hard as nails and vulnerable. Most of all though she’s funny as hell. There’s so many wonderful quotes that there’s no point going into them all. If she’s not using breath spray on her privates she’s breaking the rules in her own style. Deering has to go down as one the TV greats.
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It’s not all about Viv though. No Offence is an ensemble piece and everyone has their moments. Elaine Cassidy as the intensely moral but wayward Dina gives the performance of her career. Alexandra Roach as the innocent but kick ass Joy is a revelation. Then there’s Paul Ritter having the time of his life as Miller, a man who revels in the moribundity of it all and takes everything that bit too far. He is outstanding and one of his greatest moments came when he shouted “I’VE GOT GOAT ON ME!” before licking it off his coat “No, it’s Curry” Oh, by the way, they blew up a goat with a bomb. Of course they did.
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Sadly this year Channel 4 announced that No Offence was not coming back and that is a dreadful loss. Television needs brave, visionary storytelling like this. One day it will be considered as a classic and when it is Viv will be raising a wry smile knowing she was right all along. As always.
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3: Car Share (BBC1) 2015-18
On paper Car Share had all the appeal of being stuck in traffic with Jack Whitehall as a your passenger. Frankly, the premise of two colleagues going to and from work is hardly something to get the pulse racing. In an age where comedies are fast paced, abruptly edited and over the top, Car Share proved there’s hilarity in the mundane and plenty of heart in the normal. While it defied genre norms it also set a benchmark by smashing iPlayer viewing records.
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If you’re looking for epic plot twists and convoluted storylines then you won’t find them on the not so mean streets of Bolton. If however you want to see someone accidentally drink some piss then this is for you. It’s the mix of slapstick and intelligently observed long-form conversation that gives Car Share a warm, comforting feel and that’s nothing to do with the urine.
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Charm is a word used way too often in TV circles but this has it in spades. Two opposites collide and the results are fun and often bizarre. John (Peter Kay) is a grumpy cynic worn down by years of middle management. Kayleigh (Sian Gibson) on the other hand is the bright, perky and sometimes irritating angel on his shoulder. John’s view out of the windscreen is a foggy grey mist whereas Kaleigh sees sunshine and rainbows through the same glass. The actor’s real-life friendship shows on the screen. Opposites attract as the wise prophet Paula Abdul once said.
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Speaking of pop music, let’s hear it for the show’s third main character – Forever FM. The local radio station it’s ok to listen to. It’s upbeat music and oddball adverts soundtrack the show’s feel good tone perfectly. While your ears digest the cheese your eyes are distracted by ridiculous road signs and billboards. Ugly city landscapes are turned into comedy art. The attention to detail isn’t just in the script. Just don’t mention that dirty back window.
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While Peter Kay is on top form, the undoubted star of the car is Sian Gibson. Her portrayal of quirky Kayleigh is totally endearing. No-one has delivered a line about an iceberg lettuce quite so beautifully.
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There are so many classic moments from John’s loudspeaker call to his boss to Kayleigh’s neighbour going dogging. The standout might just be Reece Shearsmith’s appearance as a smelly fishmonger with anger issues. His scenes are full of such joy and the three of them together is comedy gold. Who doesn’t need a whiffy rendition of ‘Here Comes The Hotstepper?’
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They almost messed things up by giving the second series just four episodes that culminated in an unhappy ending. Due to public demand they came back with two specials in order to prevent the politest riot ever. Curiously one was an unscripted special which basically amounted to a DVD extra. The finale made up for everything though with an ending that was happy but not overly saccharine.
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Car Share first aired in 2015 and if you feel weighed down by all the gloom of current affairs then why not treat yourself to a rewatch and transport yourself back to more innocent times. Yes, it’s been a really long decade indeed but thank God John and Kayleigh were there to make us smile.
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2: Line Of Duty (BBC1) 2012-
First put out in 2012 during what will potentially be our last ever summer of love, Line Of Duty was the antithesis of the countries mood. While everybody was preoccupied with the Olympics and being proud of our country AC-12 were rooting out bent coppers before it was fashionable.
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Comprised of Ted Hastings (Adrian Dunbar) Kate Fleming (Vicky McClure) and Steve Arnott (Martin Compston) the anti-corrupton unit were hot on the tail of Tony Gates, a man they believed to be fiddling the figures. What seemed like a fantastic one series arc soon bleeds onto the new story of series two. Keeley Hawes took on the role of the hunted for one of the best moments of her career. From then on each new run catches you off guard and pulls your pants down. Everything, no matter how unconnected it seems, turns out to be part of a far bigger conspiracy.
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Jed Mercurio’s writing is so intricate and clever. Things don’t make the final draft for no reason. The sheer audacity to stick to the conspiracy whilst throwing in curveballs as bullets is the sign of a master at work. In Line of Duty he has created a vibrant, suspenseful thriller, the like of which has not been seen before. Far from being boring, thirty minute interrogation scenes are heart racing slabs of perfect melodrama. The beat to those interviews are almost hypnotic.
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Adrian Dunbar is in great form as Ted, a man so full of principles he might burst and let some secrets out. He’s authoritative, charming and has many a catchphrase to cause a chuckle in the most heated of moments. But every good man needs a nemesis and AC-12 has had its fair share so it’s worth mentioning that Lennie James, Keeley Hawes, Daniel Mays, Thandie Newton and Stephen Graham have all been worthy adversaries. All villains with shade and complexity. If they walked on stage at a panto they wouldn’t get booed. They’d be greeted by confusion. Mainly because five year olds won’t have watched Line of Duty. Craig Parkinson’s excellently sinister Dot would not only get booed but kicked out the theatre – by the children’s parents.
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2020 will see our favourite anti-corrupton unit (BOO TO AC-9!) return. Is Ted really dodgy? Will Arnott buy some more waistcoats? Just remember one thing – don’t trust anyone.
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1: Being Human (BBC3) 2009-2013
“So a werewolf, a ghost and a vampire decide to live like humans do. They get jobs, a house and a TV license. They make friends they will lie to, take lovers they will infect-in fact, the only part of humanity they successfully adopt is its ability to deceive and destroy”
A small scale domestic drama with a supernatural twist. It’s a simple houseshare premise but this time the inhabitants are a vampire, a ghost and a werewolf. The scope of creator Toby Whithouse’s vision meant BBC Three’s modest little show transcended it’s humble beginnings. The balance between mundane domesticity and ambitious science fiction is just part of what makes Being Human truly special. This isn’t grandiose Dracula style mythology nor is it tepid Twilight / Vampire Diaries nonsense.
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Initially set in Bristol with Mitchell (Aidan Turner) George (Russell Tovey) and Annie (Lenora Crichlow), series one could almost be classed as the innocent times. Innocent here translates as bloody killings, haunting your ex from the grave, being accused of fiddling with kids and a gruesome battle with an arch enemy. The masterstroke is that all these things happened between conversations about mouli graters and Marigolds. This balance continued perfectly throughout all five series. Switching between brooding intensity and full-on funny within seconds came naturally to a show that never played it safe. There were two mass murder sprees and a baby was blown up yet this doesn’t come close to describing the blood shed or services rendered as Mr. Snow might say. This deep mood is darkened further by composer Richard Well’s atmospheric original score.
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Being Human evolved further with a move to Barry Island and enforced cast changes that would’ve been a stake through the heart of most shows. In series four and five we were gifted with newcomer Damien Molony and his awkward bromance with Michael Socha’s Tom which, along with a move deeper into science fiction territory gave proceedings a new lease of life when it wasn’t thought to be needed. Kate Bracken’s Alex soon completed a new trio that weren’t given enough time together because the axe fell in 2013. While general consensus lies with the original trio being the best, what followed them is extremely underrated. The first three years may have been more consistent but when the last two years peaked the episodes were equal to and sometimes even better than the original incarnation. ‘Making History’ stands atop a very busy podium.
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One of the biggest factors in Being Human landing the top spot is the dialogue. Oozing with quotability and natural conversation, everything flows so bloody well. There isn’t a show around with dialogue this special. Take Hal’s tense reunion with Mr Snow in the cafe. Take George calling Mitchell “deadly furniture”. Take Herrick’s last speech in the cellar. Take Alex berating Hal for causing her death. Take the epic Captain Hatch speech in the finale. Take Ivan’s shruggles to stay clean (“I’m this close to wiping out an entire branch of Argos”) Take it all for goodness sake and annoy your friends by quoting it all the sodding time. Who cares if they have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.
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It goes without saying how strong the aforementioned actors are but Being Human was chock full of talent everywhere you looked. Sinead Keenan’s Nina was an undervalued character but a vital part of the story. It may be because she dumped George and challenged Mitchell as to why praise wasn’t heaped on in spades but it’s easy to forget that she started out human. Nina is us, the viewer, except she actually inhabits this strange world for the first time but still with all her natural instincts and moral convinctions at her core. In the second and third installments particularly Sinead deserved equal billing.
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Then there was Herrick, the greatest baddy there’s ever been. On the surface he looked about as threatening as a lamppost but Jason Watkins took a great villain on paper and twisted him into something special. He acted his socks off with knowing smiles and wicked grins. So good was Watkins that on Herrick’s grand return he made us think the old rogue could have some redemption inside his cold, cold body. Silly us.
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The acting credits are an impressive rollcall featuring respected names such as Donald Sumpter and Phil Davis to early roles for up and coming performers. Craig Roberts played a perverted teenager in his forties, Alexandra Roach fell apart as a decomposing zombie, Sacha Dhawan hunted vampires so badly they slayed him and Sara Pascoe was a widow ghost mum. There are too many to mention because it’s bewildering and that’s before you hear who some of the writers are. As you ask, Tony Basgallop, Lisa McGee, Sarah Phelps and Jamie Mathieson to name some.
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Long story short, if you haven’t watched Being Human then make a start on it today. If you have watched it then do it again and again until Toby Whithouse is in 10 Downing Street and its script is taught on every school syllabus. SHOW NO MERCY.
Roisin Conaghty returns for a second series as Marcella and while her character might be falling apart at the seams, Roisin herself has raised the game with this improvement on the first run. Marcella’s family are still weird, her love life is still a mess and to make matters worse her crap therapist has a crappy sidekick. It’s still quirky and potty mouthed, just more so. However, the ending might mean GameFace has reached its endgame.
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19: Taskmaster – Series 9 (Dave)
After an iffy eighth installment at the start of the year when the contestants didn’t seem to gel and the tasks weren’t up to scratch, Taskmaster came back firing on all cylinders. Everyone was brilliant. Ed Gamble’s competitiveness made up for Jo Brand’s lack of interest and David Baddiels general confusion. It was all brilliant and hopefully the move to Channel 4 won’t mess with a winning formula.
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18: Dead To Me (Netflix)
A farcical comedy with a dark heart. Jen has recently lost her husband in a tragic accident and soon meets Judy at a support group. Her world is about to be flipped over again as the two become close friends with a lack of trust as the unspoken third wheel in the relationship. Dead To Me is a sensitively played out story with plenty of laughs and emotional pathos.
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17: Catastrophe (Channel 4)
Sharon Horgan and Rob Delaney’s potentially final installment as a bickering, troubled couple offered plenty of the gross out moments and arguments we’ve come to love over the years but there was an even sharper edge this time round. We loved Sharon and Rob through some very questionable behaviour over he years nd that is a credit to the writers . Sharon and Rob. If this is goodbye then let’s at least end on good terms.
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16: Brexit: The Uncivil War (Channel 4)
A riveting take on a very British storm. In parts factual and in parts exaggerated, The Uncivil War was a comical spoof which summed up the ridiculousness of the whole thing. Let’s face it, facts aren’t important these days anyway. Benedict Cumberbatch plays Dominic Cummings, the man behind the madness as we see see his methods behind the political revolution. It’s a fun, engaging thrill ride which can’t be said of Brexit itself.
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15: Sex Education (Netflix)
A bright, bold tale of teenage sexuality told through the eyes of Otis who ends up giving advice to fellow students despite having no direct life experience himself. Sex, drugs, body image and bullying are just some of the topics handled in a direct and funny manner. It pulls no punches with the headstrong storytelling. The setting is actually the main thing that causes unease because its British students dressed as American students in a British school which looks like an American school. It’s very discombulating indeed.
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14: The End Of The F***ing World (Channel 4 / Netflix)
The teenage tearaways Alyssa and James don’t get things any easier when a woman named Bonnie who is set on revenge comes into their lives. Still artfully shot and masterfully told, the story surprises in the direction it takes. The End Of The F***ing World is lo-fi Tarrantino set in Britain and it’s still f***ING brilliant.
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13: Santa Clarita Diet (Netflix)
The gruesome foursome of Shiela, Joel, Abby and Eric continue their take on surreal suburbia. The show with all its gore and lunacy has impressed with every series. There’s not much new on the plate here but to stay urgent and hilarious despite that is credit to the performances from a pitch perfect cast. Netflix, like Sheila with her victims has cruelly cut Santa Clarita Diet off in its prime. We left things on a cliffhanger that could have taken the show to new realms. It’s sad to say goodbye.
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12: The Capture (BBC1)
Holiday Grainger plays D.I Rachel Carey who gets caught up in a world of make believe that takes her straight to the heart of conspiracy and law. Shaun Emery, a recently cleared British soldier is the man at the centre of it all and how can he prove his innocence when the evidence shows otherwise? The Capture is a thrilling emotional rollercoaster with twists that’ll mess with your head. There is style, substance and almost certainly a second series in the offing. When do we start?
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11: Year Of The Rabbit (Channel 4)
Think Ripper Street visiting Garth Merenghi’s Dark place hospital in Victorian times. Got it? Weird isn’t it? Matt Berry plays Inspector Rabbit and yes, he’s being very Matt Berry here but it suits the madness. Rabbit teams up with Mabel and Wilbur to solve crimes in ways only they can – badly. Quick-fire jokes, great visual gags and complete nonsense are the order of the day and it’s an absolute riot.
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10: Guilt (BBC Scotland)
Max and Jake are brothers for better or worse and in Guilt, mostly worse. Late one night they drunkenly kill an old man with their car and what follows is a tale of cover ups and repercussions. Through it all they meet Angie, an American with her own secrets. Guilt is a steadily paced farce that questions whether family is really stronger together.
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9: Dead Pixels (Channel 4)
Meet Meg a gamer who has a mind murkier than some of the darkest frogs of the internet and her curious gaming friends. They don’t want to live in the real world but their fantasy lives within the game blur into every aspect of their day to day. Dead Pixels is fun, rude and genuinely funny as fuck. Meg and Nicky are completely awful people but just like them we can’t keep our eyes from the screen. The mashup of in game play and standard settings is a visual treat.
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8: Giri / Haji (BBC2)
The English translation of the title is Duty / Shame. Kenzo is carrying out his duty, Yuko is his shame. Giri / Haji is set in Tokyo and London and the beautiful cinematography perfectly captures both cities. The direction throughout is crafted with an exception eye for detail. Kenzo is a detective sent to London to find his missing brother, who’s been involved with the Yakuza and accused of murder but the ramifications are the heart of the matter here. Giri / Haji is brooding, intelligent drama with plenty of revelations.
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7: Line Of Duty (BBC1)
Line Of Duty was almost back to its best after a disappointing fourth series. Steven Graham as the main antagonist was a big reason for this but throwing Ted Hastings in at the deep end was the real masterstroke, taking AC-12 into uncharted territory. Our little hearts couldn’t take Ted being corrupt and the way writer Jed Mercurio weaves in so much from the show’s history means the viewer can never relax. The levels of complex storytelling are unparalleled. This run was short on the long interrogation scenes, maybe as a way of not turning into a spoof of itself. The ninety minute finale was tense event telly at it’s very best. Is the strange ‘H’ reveal at the very end a double bluff?
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6: Ghosts (BBC1)
Horrible Histories goes ghastly ghouls on our asses and comedy is a better place as a result. There’s still that brand of humour from them we love but with a slightly more adult twist. Alison and Mike get the keys to a rundown country house but the dead inhabitants don’t taken kindly to their new housemates. They’re all larger than life characters but Lolly Adefope’s Kitty might be the standout. What follows is a madcap twist on the genre. Ghosts is odd, charming and already commissioned for two more series.
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5: Peaky Blinders (BBC1)
Peaky Blinders took a change in direction this year and it wasn’t to everyone’s taste. This was a study of Tommy’s personal demons. Read all my reviews of series five here and cast interviews here:
From the mind of Joe Gilgun and starring the man himself, Brassic offers a working class way of life not often given airtime on television. Brassic is Vinnie’s fight against depression but told through the medium of stealing ponies, bum exposing wrestles snd getting stuck in sewers. His gang of friends, with Dylan his closest buddy pulling away from him, get themselves in all sorts of scrapes with diminishing returns. The opening monologue of episode one is a northern take on the famous ‘Choose Life’ diatribe in Trainspotting and sums up Brassic’s mantra from the off. Though however bizarre things may get Gilgun and fellow writer Danny Brocklehurst manage to keep it grounded. Crude and sincere in equal measure, series two follows in 2020.
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3: Pure (Channel 4)
Newcomer Charly Clive excels as Marnie, a 24 year old sufferer of ‘Pure O’, an extreme form of OCD that involves near constant violent, sexual and taboo thoughts. She runs off to London but can’t escape her own mind and Pure is the engrossing tale of her adjusting to her new life and getting to grips with her illness. There’s awkward thumbles, workplace terrors and difficult friendships aplenty but her brain is the biggest hurdle to overcome. Pure is a realistic, heartfelt and refreshingly honest work.
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2: Years And Years (BBC1)
Russell T. Davies covers fifteen years through the eyes of a family that sees a rapid, frightening shift of the world’s axis. Back near the start of the year it already felt like an uncomfortable watch as what should be sci-fi was almost mimicking our daily news. A few months down the line and the show’s themes are even more relevant. Covering so many big political and technological moments in a domestic setting is the biggest achievement of many that Years And Years achieved. Read my reviews of all the episodes here:
Stranger Things 3 is the brightest, boldest and funniest series yet. There wasn’t just a tone change but more urgency and a different sort of peril. If series two felt like a rehash of the original run then this subverted expectations. There’s so much to love from Steve and Dustin’s bromance reaching new levels, the introduction of Robin, the cynical heroics of Hopper and so much more. Using the mall as a centrepiece was another masterstroke as well because we needed to see more of Hawkins, we needed to see these great characters in different settings and different situations. It’s rare for a show to improve as it goes on but Stranger Things has done so in style. The gut wrenching ending pulled the rug from under our feet and it looks like we won’t be seeing anymore of Hawkins at all from now on.
Yes, seriously. It’s made my list. Hear me out on this one. Despite it’s obvious channel Four style silliness this actually has more going for it than something like Sex Box. It’s refreshing to see “normal” bodies on TV, warts (sometime’s literally) and all. It’s also, in its own way, an interesting take on human attraction. Plus, at the moments you’re not taking it semi (ahem) seriously, it’s nice to see lots of male genitals that make me feel a hell of a lot better about my own bits.
24: Inside No. 9 – Private View (BBC2)
The sheer audacity of Inside No. 9 means they can kill off Peter Kay in the opening minute. Private View plays out like an Agatha Christie novel set in an art basement. But with a reality TV star and a man named Kenneth Williams who has no sense of irony, or ironically no sense of innuendo.
The strangers are called to an exhibition but are soon picked off one by one in ever increasingly imaginative ways. There’s boob jokes, anal sex jokes, toilet humour and yet it still manages to be clever. How do they do it? The twist turns slowly and the motives of the culprit are thoroughly unexpected. Another gem from team Shearsmith and Pemberton.
23: Gameface – Series 1 (E4)
The pilot which aired way back in 2014 suggested Gameface would be in the tradition of Man Down but time has given the show a facelift. The series proved to be more stylised with a cinematic feel and different use of editing. Marcella has a drug addict brother, a dick of an ex-boyfriend and a blossoming crush on her driving instructor. She’s prone to getting into situations she doesn’t want to be in. She gets in supermarket brawls, triggers a fellow actor into a panic attack and flicks a lover’s testicles. Though he seemed to like being in that situation. Roisin Conaty writes and stars and is clearly in her element. Hopefully a second series beckons.
22: Witless – Series 2 (BBC3)
A strange old show is Witless. Billed as a comedy thriller, the adventures of Leanne and Rhonda descend more into farce with more twists than you can point a gun at and that’s what got them into so much trouble in the first place. Series two finds them trying desperate measures to escape their lives in Witness Protection with the help of dodgy fancy dress gear and a bear named Charlie Little Pockets. Don’t ask. It never plays for easy laughs but Kerry Howard is the one who brings most comic relief to a show that is a strong mix of silly and dark.
21: Stranger Things – Series 2 (Netflix)
While hardly the fasted paced show going, it was good to explore more of ‘The Upside Down’ and the Hawkins lab in series two. It’s fair to say that the happenings in this little pocket of America didn’t evolve too much and it lacked the impact of the first run but for the most part it felt like a continuation of a winning formula, if you overlook the pointless “Eleven goes to the city” episode Anything that consists of child actors should by definition be awful but my God, these guys are excellent. Quite where things go from here is going to be intriguing. The downside up?
20: Sherlock – Series 4 (BBC1)
Critically panned for sure and suggestions that it jumped the shark do have some validity. However, when Sherlock is on top form it is still spectacular, like the Eurus reveal for example, or the demented spin off of The Crystal Maze in the finale. Plot holes? There were a few and yes, Mary’s death was a bit rubbish but not quite as rubbish as Watson’s reaction but what carried series four over the line was the strong performances and masterful direction which gave adrenaline to the poorest run to date. There are rumours that Sherlock might come back in a few years time but it’s probably wise to put this under the deer stalker hat and back into the dusty cupboard for good.
19: BoJack Horseman – Series 4 (Netflix)
Sure, we can all relate to a depressed, formerly famous horse and even if you can’t, the Netflix animation continues to surprise and astound. The themes have always been a bit morose but there are glimmers of the human side to him. Or the.. horse side. You know what I mean. Tragedy and comedy are simply two cheeks on the same arse and the writing is so funny and assured there’s plenty of padding. Erm.
18: The End Of The F**king World – Series 1 (Channel 4 / Netflix)
In another baffling take on Channels’ starting to give up on the whole putting TV shows on the actual TV, The End Of The F***ing World was confined to streaming service All4. That’s a shame because many will miss out on this teenage misadventure. While the episodes were frustratingly short and there were way too many flashbacks for a series that didn’t clock up many minutes in total, the deeply troubled pairing of James and Alyssa was riotously entertaining. Awkward fumblings, suicide, stabbings, and car explosions are par for the course but despite their attitude an inner monologue expresses all their vulnerability. Jessica Barden stands out with her portrayal of a young woman going off the rails. In their bid to escape they end up more trapped than ever.
17: GLOW – Series 1 (Netflix)
Big hair? check. Spandex? Check. Kick ass women? Check. Cheesy eighties classics? Check. Need any more convincing? It has (references to) sex, it definitely has drugs and the trio is completed by a rock n’ roll attitude. A disparate group of women audition for a new show for female wrestlers and the journey to get to the pilot is a total riot. Director Sam Silva is an arrogant misogynist but he sure as hell meets his match in his cast. The second run has already been shot and is expected to air later this year.
16: Cold Feet – Series 7 (ITV)
As middle age creeps closer and closer for me, perhaps I should watch Cold Feet as a lesson in how not to grow old with dignity. Affairs, addiction, work stress, family stress and depression are some of the happy subjects that our motley crew are faced with. As ever, it’s done with winning performances from a cast who know each other so well. Writer Mike Bullen is a genius in the way he wraps it all together in funny and affecting tales that produce the feelgood factor every time.
15: Black Mirror – Hang The DJ (Netflix)
Coming across as a hybrid of 500 Days Of Summer, The Truman Show and the show’s own past in San Junipero, this romantic installment proves that beneath all the fear, panic and death, Charlie Brooker does have a soft side. Amy and Frank are cooped up in a world where a digital companion controls their love lives. Who they date, where and how long for. For Black Mirror this is a straight forward story that shows some rules are meant to be broken.
14: Line Of Duty – Series 4 (BBC1)
Thandie Newton is the captivating centre of our attention this time but a leap from BBC2 to the headline channel doesn’t mean that all the old strands have been forgotten about. As ever, the main protagonist is there to confuse viewers with dubious actions and multiple alibis. Ted Hastings is on top form as usual, you wouldn’t expect anything less from the fella, but all in all it proved to be the least satisfying series to date.
That’s not to say it wasn’t mostly brilliant but there was a sense that not much ground was covered in comparison to previous runs. There wasn’t even much in the way of the long interrogation scenes either. Maybe that was an editorial decision to stop the show edging towards parody? Either way, the worst series of Line Of Duty is still a thrill ride that puts most TV to shame. Bar the thirteen listed below, obviously. Don’t be picky.
13: Broadchurch – Series 3 (ITV)
Recovering from the ultimate case of ‘Second Series Syndrome’ (yes, SSS), Hardy and Miller are on top form again. Bar the Latimer’s tragic tale of coping with loss, Broadchurch moves on from the events of before. While skipping a few years ahead of our last visit grates at first, it’s a choice that actually allows the final run to breathe so much easier on its own terms.
The topic of rape and sexual abuse is dealt with by good research and much needed sensitively and for that it should be applauded. A whodunnit about a rape felt very odd and left viewers feeling a bit uneasy but that was probably the whole point and Julie Hesmondhalgh played the role of Trish with raw honesty.
In true Broadchurch fashion, there were big, almost laughable red herrings (or in this case, mackerels) such as dramatic close ups of condoms on a dashboard or an intense camera zoom on a load of footballer’s socks but I can forgive them that. Hardy and Miller will be much missed but it’s nice to know that Beth has got a new job as a doctor.
12: Black Mirror – Black Museum (Netflix)
Rolo Haynes, a former neurological research recruiter now runs a debauched horror show of a museum. As he guides Nish around the “attraction” he tells of his past in extreme and sometimes gory detail. These three differing stories show a man with increasingly loose morals and the pay off is worth its wait in Gold. If it feels like things are getting a bit too bleak just remember that “Monkey loves you”..
11: Taskmaster – Series 5 (Dave)
Taskmaster continues to go from strength to strength as it grows ever more with confidence. If you want to see Sally Phillips make out with a water cooler and frankly, who doesn’t? Then this is the show for you. If you want to see Bob Mortimer turn a coconut into a businessman and frankly, who doesn’t? Then this is the show for you. If you want to see Aisling Bea dressed as a sexy robot called the ‘Cuddlebot 5000’ and frankly, who doesn’t? Then this is the show for you. If you don’t want to see any of these things then put your telly in a skip and go read a book or something.
10: Inside No. 9 – The Riddle Of The Sphinx (BBC2)
Inside No 9 is at its glorious best when putting surreal meat on the bones of simple ideas. This is all about crosswords and no matter how boring that may sound , Shearsmith and Pemberton elevate proceedings beyond anything other comedy writers can manage. It’s complex and deeply compelling.
The Riddle Of The Sphinx revolves around Nina who stumbles into the office of a professor that soon teaches her the best ways of deciphering clues in cryptic crosswords. Naturally, as a storm rages outside there are twists and dark turns aplenty. Everything about it feels perfect. The deliciously lit Gothic set-up, the wordplay and the performances of course. One of the best, if not the best of the anthology series to date.
9: Black Mirror – USS Callister (Netflix)
Reality becomes virtual as Robert Daly, a quiet overlooked co-manager of a technology company starts to play out his fantasies in another world where he is appreciated and respected. He uploads his work colleagues onto his computer based spaceship. In there he is the captain and an outright bully. What follows is unpredictable and at times hilarious story as his trapped crew plot their escape.
As a social commentary, white male privilege is clearly a target and trolling might be an issue covered too, i.e. how people act online in a way they wouldn’t in real life. USS Callister is Black Mirror at its zany, uncompromising best.
8: Dave Gorman’s Modern Life Is Goodish – Series 5 (Dave)
A man stands in front of a PowerPoint screen and picks up on all the mundane quirks of modern day life. That’s it really. Except Dave (the man, not the channel) has always had the language at his disposal to make the smallest things witty and fascinating. He is an expert storyteller and each episode has themes running trough them and brilliant callbacks. The attention to detail is extraordinary.
Though he has a fierce intellect, as is so often the case with Dave Gorman these are cases of a man old enough to know better. He messes with children’s toys in an elaborate effort to trick his friends, he buys a taxi to make money from nightclub bouncers but he’s not always the winner. Someone very close to him plays him at his own game. Sadly, there will be no more of this innovative little show.
Mackenzie Crook’s instant classic booked itself into TV folklore with the last ever six episodes of a show that may have gone under the radar of the mainstream but quality will always win out. It was also great to see the roles of “Simon and Garfunkel” extended and it added to comedy that has the sweetest pathos. There were so many golden moments in what are essentially small details: Andy rescuing a hedgehog and stumbling on his dream home, Lances’s canal boat confusion and the Bat Action Helpline (B.A.T).
If there’s one minor criticism it’s that there wasn’t enough of the Danebury Metal Detecting Clubthis time round but given that this was Andy and Lance’s farewell, it is understandable they should get more of the screen time.Made with love for both a hobby and the English countryside, it has always left me with a warm glow when the credits roll but my goodness, that ending was beyond perfect. In a cynical, violent world, Detectorists was a tribute to the softer side of humanity. It will be greatly missed.
Despite the second run being as just as brilliant in essence as the first there’s the worry that the writers shot themselves in the foot a bit. Or fell over running to a postbox and back. On what should have been an heroic lap of honour, the reduction from six episodes to four, as well as a sad ending, left an unsavoury taste in the mouth. The powers that be have clearly had a change of heart and succumbed to viewers complaints. In a bizarre move we will be getting a proper final episode sometime this year as well as an unscripted one where Peter Kay and Sian Gibson will be talking made up nonsense to each other. It promises to be brilliant because the chemistry between them shines off the screen anyway. The change of plan further fuels questions as to why the second series didn’t comprise of six in the first place.
Enough of the moaning, what Car Share did offer us this time round didn’t disappoint. From harassment by a drunken smurf to a Monkey hitchhiker the laughs were as big as its heart. This wasn’t simply a case of going to work and back, their world was extended just a little as they journeyed to a party and skived off for a day to go on a mini adventure. Though the set pieces were a little bigger, and I do mean a little, John and Kayleigh’s blossoming love was dealt with sweetly even though after the first series I thought they should just stay friends. The comedy is observational and down to earth but uproariously funny in the process. Let’s not forget the classic hits (and more classic adverts) of Forever FM either and lots of witty signage for the more attentive viewer. The pressure is on for the last installment but let’s enjoy the moment before it becomes NeverAgain FM.
2: Uncle – Series 3 (BBC2)
For its last ever run, Uncle surpassed the expectations set by its humble but still fantastic beginnings. It was more emotional (I genuinely cried) than most dramas. It was funnier (I genuinely cried) than most comedies from the year put together. Not afraid to touch on sensitive subjects such as addiction and cancer with unashamed sentiment but also go for the farcical jugular – the stupidly thought out intervention on his sister and Andy and Errol’s fantastical quest in “ye olden times” (featuring Dylan Moran as an ogre) to name but two moments. Add to that, Nick Helm’s catchy ditties about inappropriate things and you’ve got comedy gold.
1: No Offence – Series 2 (Channel 4)
The dream team of Viv, Joy and Dinah were back in action and there was the small matter of gang warfare on the streets of Manchester to contend with. It’s an explosive start and a gory ending. As for everything inbetween? Well, it’s bonkers and all the more glorious for it.
No Offence continues to grope touchy issues and yet has a devilish sense of humour. The dialogue is like nothing else out there. It’s poetically quick-witted and rude (“that was a big fat wanking bomb”). It fires by at such a pace that if you’re a southerner like me you might need to put subtitles on. The words aren’t the only thing that charge full throttle like Lewis Hamilton on speed. The whole pace is unrelenting and the twists are vast. Don’t be tweeting while you watch this or the plot will literally be lost.
Viv Deering has competition that threatens her authority but that just adds to her steel. Joanna Scanlan’s presence is a joy for every single second that she’s on screen. Speaking of Joy, she grows in confidence and even has a love interest but naturally that takes a sinister turn. The characters, even the smaller roles, are so well realised and believable and that is yet another reason why No Offence claims the top spot.
The mad ending of series one doesn’t play too big a role as it’s only passingly referred to but is Paul Abbott playing the long game on that one? Will the truth ever come out and will it destroy our favourite cop trinity? Series three is due later this year and things are set to get political. Whatever happens, it’ll get my vote.
So it turns out the ominous shadow of Alfie Solomons was not being followed by further shady characters. Not directly anyway. He just wants a chat and chats with Alfie are always a one sided affair, he regales Tommy of his plans to move to Margate and intentionally(?) offers some cryptic advice.
Meanwhile, back out in the boxing ring “gypsy boy” is taking a bit of a battering but it’s all for show. The ladies are getting merry and Arthur’s drug induced paranoia proves correct. In a dark corner of the venue he is jumped on, strangled and left for dead. Tommy arrives too late but fires shots in the ring out of fury. For what is essentially the second billing character to be killed off is a shocker and for the first time in a few episodes makes real the threat of the Mafia. Finn even comes of age in true Peaky fashion by taking the eyes out of a “wop”, glee covering his face as he does so. Welcome to the dark side, Finn. It’s exactly the sort of exhilarating set piece the show thrives off. Violence and intrigue matched perfectly.
“You can sign them on your knees”
Tommy has a new plan and it looks a lot like the white flag of surrender Changretta’s mother was just waving at him. In a move that gives an impression the series is going to end on a whimper, he agrees to sell over his businesses to Luca. The moment Tommy gets to his knees and starts reeling off a speech after minutes of silence is when you realise we’ve been deceived. Deception has played such a big role in series five, it really should have its own credit on IMDB. Heeding Alfie’s “advice”, they find someone bigger and turn the just thrown tables round onto Luca. The gunmen that have been trained on the Blinders now turn to their enemy.
That’s not all, though is it? From being redundant and then dead of all things, Arthur suddenly turns up to be the one who shoots Luca with his own bullet. We’ve been conned again but it’s all worth it for the shock value. Welcome back Arthur, though we didn’t get the chance to miss you.
“Alfie, stop talking!”
In a more gory and unromantic version of Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, Tommy meets Alfie on Margate beach. No ice creams, no seaside reminiscing, just penance for treachery. Even with death encroaching, Solomons still babbles on and only a bullet to the face stops him. Is he even dead? Even if the dog gave him mouth to mouth his chances aren’t looking good, frankly. Women might not fancy Tom Hardy so much with half a face.
“Distilled for the eradication of seemingly incuarable sadness”
Arthur’s words that the “war is over” don’t ring true though. The Mafia may be gone but the much bigger war still is playing on Tommy’s mind. On a self-imposed break he retreats back into the PTSD and no amount of gin is going to put a smile on his face. No matter how bad he felt, his strop at golf was perfectly justified. So, who do you call when you’ve got a really depressing montage to soundtrack? Radiohead, of course.
“Your cause is now my cause”
Tommy and Jessie reunite, get naked and fight for socialism together. Which sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it? In a political twist more surprising than Jeremy Corbyn’s first Labour leadership victory, our main man runs for office and soon becomes the representative for Birmingham South. How much is for personal gain and how much is actually for social justice is up for debate and will surely be explored in the next series. It’d be great to see more of Jessie (we saw quite a lot of her tonight to be fair, nudge nudge) with a more substantial storyline.
Did the set up six weeks ago live up to its own billing? Probably not. The threat was never quite as bad as was made out. However, Peaky Blinders always serves up unexpected twists and thrills through the lens of incredibly shot, brilliantly acted television. If series five is the last, let’s cherish every minute because we won’t see its like again. 9/10
We pick up exactly where last week left off, Tommy being followed in slow pursuit by the Mafia and with a knowing look into the rear view mirror we know that our anti-hero is in on Polly’s plan. What follows is an epic, noisy opening few minutes of, let’s face it, very badly aimed gunfire. There’s more shots here than in the last half hour of Hot Fuzz as Tommy and Luca rampage through a housing estate.
Riveting though it most definitely is, it does raise some questions. Why did Changretta and his gang not carry out the deed on a quiet road en route rather than wait for the final destination? Why did Tommy not seek back up from either the Blinders or the gypsies to help him take on the hit squad? Is his death wish so strong? Hey, who cares, it looks amazing. There’s a murder committed through a white bed sheet and everything. An unlikely advertisement deal with Ariel is but a phone call away (“Killed someone on your linen again? Try new Shelby All In One”). The duel doesn’t last very long because it is crudely interrupted by the police.
“I don’t drink whiskey or gin anymore”
Lizzie delivers the news of her pregnancy in typical matter of fact Lizzie fashion and Tommy takes to the news as if he’d just won a tenner. He has got the shakes though, bless. He did kill three people, not sure if he mentioned it.
While pregnancy is causing one person to tone down on their vices, the same can’t be said for Arthur who is getting carried away with the white powder and not the kind Tim Henman would happily promote. That combined with his drinking means he’s slipping down a very slippery slope and falling down a very still table. He calls for Linda to save him but frankly, the man may be beyond redemption. Full marks for Paul Anderson’s drunk acting, it was convincing enough to conjure up images of Delia Smith shouting on a football pitch.
“I know ways back that will take forever”
Much to Michael’s delight, Polly arranges a little holiday for him with the gypsies. The idea is that he’ll be off map and avoid detection. While the son is away the auntie will play as she soon starts locking lips with Aberama Gold. Inappropriate men indeed. They may be getting it on but Gold knows full well that if any harm comes to her child, then he won’t have the equipment to get it on much longer.
“You just made a deal without a negotiation, didn’t ya?”
There’s another face to face duel as Luca squares up to an Alfie who conveys much more menace than the man stood opposite, even with his eyes closed. The negotiations involve an indecent proposal of sorts. Alfie will hand Tommy over at the boxing match if Luca runs his alcohol into New York. We don’t get the outcome of this intriguing conversation, but where would the fun be in that?
“Tommy Shelby is going to stop the revolution with his cock”
The pesky C word pops up again – communism. Ada is taken in for questions by the military who have a keen interest in her political past. As with most things, Tommy is responsible. His wheeling and dealing climbs two further levels. Firstly, the military have offered him a lucrative contract and secondly, he reveals his plans to deceive and corrupt Jessie Eden for his own gain. Profit over principles. The very opposite of the socialist he once was.
They settle down for a dinner that wouldn’t have made the edit of First Dates. The tone is completely serious and worse still, Curly is the DJ. You can see Jessie’s guard falling by the wayside as Tommy works his charm once more but fair play, she doesn’t put out. Physically, at least anyway. In the end she does comes to an agreement she’ll soon regret.
“Take your bets”
And so to the ring and there’s nothing Peaky Blinders loves more than high octane drama around a boxing match. Out of the shadows Alfie appears in a blaze of mystery. Is he alone or did he strike a deal with Luca? The imagery of Tommy walking into the light suggests it’s actually a trap for the boys from New York. While the Mafia haven’t lived up to their early threat, next week’s finale still looks set to be an explosive, gory and satisfactory ending to the series and hopefully Changretta’s bloody toothpicks too. 8/10
“If you’re here in one hour, I swear to God I will cover you in tar and fucking feathers”
One of the many great strengths of Peaky Blinders is the unpredictability of its narrative. It never adheres to a set formula and that is shown off with great dexterity tonight. The first half plays out like a series finale. Teapots are shaking and guns are blazing as a woman from the past comes back to haunt Arthur. The second half takes the foot off the pedal and even the loud reintroduction of Alfie Solomons can’t shift the gloom encompassing Small Heath.
Mrs Ross, the mother of a boy killed in the ring at the hands of the moustachioed one, offers Arthur round for a nice cuppa and a big slice of decoy cake, which tastes even worse than last week’s dry scone. It’s all a trap so Mr Changretta can sneak into the hospital unchallenged and he’s not turned up with grapes. Turns out, this is just more gameplay too. He pushes an unloaded gun into Michael’s sweaty forehead and pulls the trigger. It’s all about the drama and that was a truly dramatic way to open the show.
As Luca saunters away, turbo charged on his own raging gangster pheromones, things soon come to a standstill at a road block. This time it’s Luca who has been lured into a trap. One of Aberama Gold’s making. Gypsies assemble (now that’s an idea for Marvel) en masse and shoot to kill. Changretta gets away. Of course he does, but the driver isn’t so lucky. It establishes just how dangerous the two sides are and shows that Tommy being between the two parties means he is the very epicentre of the storm.
“Sometimes he sees something glamorous and expensive.. he just can’t resist it. He’s so weak”
Lady Carleton is back on the scene and even though she’s smelling of paraffin it won’t put Tommy off. They talk about horses and drink gin but it’s quite obvious the chemistry between them is as explosive as the factory when he walks through it. The train strike that never happened was another trap. but this one didn’t catch its intended target. They kiss but the lady isn’t for turning. She has his horse but he doesn’t have her heart.
Speaking of long faces, this brings out Lizzie’s exquisite bitchiness (“fuck Tommy and his cock and his gin”). Her seething jealousy is not in the slightest bit hidden, yet Tommy remains oblivious. He might have to take notice soon if Lizzie is pregnant, as is hinted here.
“Morning Alfie”
It is a typically grand introduction for Tom Hardy, clearly still loving the role of Alfie and making his potty mouth sound so ridiculously poetic. Which side is he on? What kind of world is this for kids to live in? Answers on a postcard. He squares up to Aberama Gold with great comic pathos. This is a verbal wrestle but they set up a proper one and Gold’s boy is, as ever, up for the fight. Quite where this storyline is heading is a mystery but it’ll certainly be an entertaining spectacle.
“Just tell us where and when. We’ll do the rest”
Of course, Michael is now wise to Polly’s deal with the devil and we have to wait most of the episode to know what he does with the information. As it turns out, he simply wishes his boss a good weekend. Which is nice, isn’t it? If you disregard the fact he’s letting Tommy leave that building knowing he could be dead by Monday morning. Still, Australia is nice this time of year..
As Tommy sets of, his car is followed by Luca and his gun toting team while a pensive Polly looks on. Is Peaky Blinders brave / mad enough to kill Tommy Shelby? Answers on a postcard to:
Never has a bare backside been involved in such an intense montage before but what with all the tears , blood and bodies, the opening stages are so bleak that at least some will get cheer from the view of Cillian Murphy’s arse. To be fair, it’s not all doom and gloom. John is deader than Arthur’s social skills but at least Michael survived the shooting.
“An eye for an eye. It’s called a vandetta”
Bar a deserting Esme, the gang is back together around the Small Heath table. Finn is now able to take his place there while Polly grimaces fiercely at Tommy again. They take a vote, and we all know how votes go in this country. Five vote for peace and two for opt for a truce and that equals the reformation of an uneasy alliance. John’s funeral is immediately its first test.
The location is so public they’re “sitting ducks” and Tommy is in the line of fire before the intervention of a Aberama Gold, a gypsy with little or no moral compass. He may be protecting the Small Heath clan for now but at what cost? Naturally, using a family member’s burning body as a trap doesn’t go down too well with Aunt Pol. There was no vote either, but we’ve had enough of referendums so there. Despite the openness of the scene it’s expertly claustrophobic. The uneasy feeling that things are about to go tits up at any moment is a hallmark of the show but the threat feels so much greater now.
“When you’re dead already – you’re free”
In an episode full of compromises, John promises to go to Australia with Polly once all this has blown over (they may even grab a pint at The Winchester en route if time allows). From the hospital bed he offers advice which works like a tin of spinach does to Popeye. It’s good to have the mean aunt back on form and frankly the Blinders are going to need her more than ever.
It might all sound horrid but there are also strong elements of comedy, not just in the form of Johnny Dogs trying to cook but in plenty of droll one liners. It’s walking the fine line between dark and light perfectly. It’s a serious business but maybe the writers have the confidence to not take it so seriously and it’s benefitting the show greatly. Peaky Blinders still has its set notable traits that it falls back on but the only time it veers towards self parody is whenever Tommy saunters through the factory as flames blaze around him.
“Do you have a whistle? If so, blow it”
While the family have drawn a friendship circle, Tommy would not be Tommy if he wasn’t making fresh adversaries. He takes on Mr Gold’s boy as a boxer but it merely looks like a case of keeping his enemies closer. Then there is Jessie Eden, who makes real of her threat to start a walkout and the factory is soon empty, bar two well dressed gentlemen that is..
“None of you will survive”
No opponent will be a match for the mafia who are “an organisation of a different dimension”. For the second week in a row, Tommy’s security is sidestepped with ease and a showdown with the man himself, Luca Changretta ensues. In a not so subtle metaphor, the big hatted evil one names individual bullets after each of the Shelbys, like a children’s game gone rogue. He flicks “John” down and informs Tommy that he will be the very last target, so he has to watch and suffer the loss of his entire family. It’s brutal but engrossing. Tommy is now the underdog so what better incentive is there to stay tuned? Will the dog be put down or will his bite be bigger than his bark? 9/10
Family has always been the glue that binds the Shelbys together. Through all the dodgy dealings, murders and intense frowning, they stick like a stupid person’s tongue on a frozen surface. Series four commences with an unfamiliar feel. After last year’s shocking climax, they are all behind bars and set for the noose. All that is, bar Tommy, a man alone in his ivory tower. From there he manages to orchestrate their escape at the time it’s most needed. Their necks literally saved. Oh, and Thomas gets an OBE for his troubles. It’s a perfectly executed (forgive the pun) opening that’s both dark and surprisingly funny.
Fast forward a year and they are a family at stubborn loggerheads. Michael is snorting the business up his nose, John is shacked up with an increasingly unhinged Esme, while Arthur is living the simple life and talking to chickens. Meanwhile Polly has gone dark side and paces the house in a drug and drink induced fit of depression. Tommy is spending most of his time either drinking or having sexy times with ladies of the night. As ever, he’s clearly got the best deal.
There’s an interesting side story developing around the disparity of pay between men and women and in trade unionist Jessie Eden, Tommy looks set for a battle of wills and might just meet his match. Historically, Jessie led women out on unprecedented strikes and this is an arc that promises much. The crux of episode one though lies in reuniting the Shelbys and setting up the enemies of series four.
“I am emotional. I just don’t know what fucking emotion it is”
Ada has been in Boston, presumably visiting a bar where everybody knows her name but returns home for Christmas and calls in on her disbanded clan one by one. The truth is she should have stayed with Norm and Cliff because a series of letters reveal they have been “black handed” by the Sicilian Mafia. More specifically, a man called Luca Changretta who is seeking revenge. Proving that no matter how hard they try to escape their past it will haunt them to their dying days, which could be at any time given how this series is shaping up.
Believing in the motto ‘strength in numbers’, Tommy orders the clan to a crisis meeting but a fantastically gruesome showdown in the kitchen shows that his defences have already been breached. A sous chef with sinister intentions is soon served up with more blood than a raw steak.
“We’re going back Johnny… back to Small Heath”
The meeting is now a full on call to arms and as Tommy tries to contact everyone to speed up a reunion, the mafia are already serving revenge in the form of bullets. If only they had smart phones back then. It’s a shocking conclusion that proves nothing should be taken for granted.
It’s an indication that series four might take the prisoners but now they’re out, none of them are safe. In coming back home, Peaky Blinders might in turn be going back to basics. While the quality of the cinematography astounds more than ever, the acting is an extra level of mesmerising and the soundtrack still knowingly brilliant, having the Blinders fight the world together as a dysfunctional force could make for the most compelling series to date. 10/10
The timing of this series, with its critique of corruption by those in authority must have been been ordered by the topical gods. In the week that, twenty seven years too late the family of Hillsborough received their first step to justice, in this fictional land the sexual abuse victims are still to get their justice because of cover ups. Will they in the end? And speaking of corruption, will the Caddy finally get found out or will he be let loose on the course for series FOOOOUR?! Little golf joke for you there to lighten the mood.
When a series finale has so many threads to tie together they are rarely completely satisfying, Line Of Duty has set itself the unthankable task of doing this with three whole series. Jed Mercurio has played the long game while running off at what seemed to be either tangents or actually not even connected at all. He’s pulled the wool over our eyes and we’ve bleating with joy at all the twists, turns and lingering close ups of worried faces.
From the aching suspense to the masterful direction (take Cottan’s feet approaching the stairs on his way to arrest Steve) the atmosphere is palpapable. The nerves and angst reach out from the screen and strangle our emotions. The core of this ninetey minute monster has two interviews as it’s centrepiece. First up the knive is twisting on Arnott as he’s paraded before his work colleagues. In twenty three glorious minutes he’s subjected to Cottan’s planted evidence and his confusion soon spirals to anger. Everyone is bloody marvellous. Compston’s panic, Parkinson’s cool smugness, Dunbar’s controlled anger and McClure’s steady nerve as her doubts mount. The interrogation ebbs and flows through a storm of statistics, information, shouting and silence. We all screamed as one at the telly as Steve challenges Dot on his working practices. We scream at the screen for Kate to work it out. We scream at the screen for Ted to twig what’s wrong and when Dot let’s slip about the envelope we punch the air. Well, I did anyway. Brilliantly there’s barely any music going on to alter our mood, just gut wrenching acting and writing of the highest calibre.
There were plenty more showdowns than the two main ones and Ted soon tears into Cottan for sequestering evidence. He is on the warpath and armed with morality. He’s Hastings, like the battle afterall. Gill is next in the firing line (a firing line, that’s what started all this kerfuffle) and when he tears into her with “Why don’t you write a nice letter of resignation to the PCC or I’ll swear to god i’ll will drag you down with the rest of them” we all punch the air. Well, I did anyway. There was also Cottan’s show down with his imagination when Lindsay appears to his cold sweated self in zombie like form (the walking Denton?). This was the only thing that felt slightly out of place, as if air lifted in from another show but its purpose was clear – to show that even a person who is inherently bad has a conscience.
So to the headline act, Dot who has wormed his way from the short grass of series one to become the show’s main player and who is now the one on the other side of the table under questioning from the ever diminishing AC-12. True to form he is calm and calculated at first but thanks to Nige and his “imm-un-i-ty” it starts unravelling and when Ted says DI” Cottan stay right there…” it’s a heart stopping moment. Kate has clearly regained her poker face and we discover that she’s been looking into Dot’s behaviour as well. With workmates like these who needs enemies? And then the twist of twists.. under the guise of looking at the calandar on his phone, Dot sends three words. Not ‘I love you’ to Kate (it’s safe to say the whole will they/won’t they ship had pretty much sailed) but “urgent exit required”. All of a sudden one of the armed guards is shooting the place down as Dot makes a run for it.
For all the wordy, near half hour interviews, one can forgive the extravagance of the final fifteen minutes. Bordering as it does on Bad Boys scrapping with James Bond. Kate hitches a ride on a truck in pursuit of the caddy who could have done with a golf buggy to help his escape – now that would’ve been a sight. Everything in Line Of Duty is more layered than a ten foot lasagne and even though Dot bows out with a bullet in him he dies with some sort of penance by saving Kate and dobbing on Fairbank with his final declaration. Personally speaking, I’m glad the Caddy story has reached a natural conclusion as he couldn’t keep getting away with it for another run. The decision to end his life is in keeping with Mercurio’s brave writing and challenging themes. This little BBC2 show has excelled as a spectacle far more than many of the great shows and films of not just our age, but of any age. The cast should be showered with BAFTAS but as we know all too well, justice is hard earned. We could just bribe the judging panel and end up with an AC-12 investigation against us. One thing’s for sure – it’d be an entertaining way to spend our wait for series four. 10/10
REDACTED FILES
Nobody shiftily sips water like Craig Parkinson. Sir, we will miss you.
Is it normal to go round calling everyone ‘fella’? and if not I’m not going to stop doing it.
I never liked Gill which proves I’m an excellent judge of fictional characters.
Kate has taken to guns almost as quickly as Danny carked it.
Everything was wrapped up nicely but for Hari’s story. He just disappeared. What happened to him?
Lovely moment with Nige and his lawnmower. Gardening has never been so poetic.
DIGITAL OBSERVATIONS 
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