My Top 30 Shows Of The Decade! (2010-2019)

Now that we’ve ticked over into a decade that actually has a name it’s time to process a time that many have named a “golden age” in television. By the way, if you’re one of those people who actually think the twenties start in 2021 then stop reading this blog because you are clearly insane and need help. And a calendar. When we’re born we’re not suddenly aged one are we?! There’s a bit of time between! They’re called months!

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Sorry, where was I? Ah yes. Here is my personal list of my favourite shows of the last ten years. There’s no Fleabag because no matter how good it is there’s the inescapable feeling that it is overrated. There’s no Game of Thrones either. I saw the first episode and once you’ve seen Emelia Clarke naked it’s not going to get any better than that is it?

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This has been an intense work about a great passion of mine.. TV that is – not Emelia Clarke’s bum. That’s a blog for another time. Feel free to debate, disagree and even rave about the show’s in my list. It’s all a matter of opinion. There will never be a definitive list because art speaks to us in many different ways. These are the show’s that made my heart beat faster, made me laugh and made me cry. God bless television…

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30: What Remains (BBC1) 2013

David Threlfall couldn’t be further from Frank Gallagher here. As Detective Len Harper he finds himself on the other side of the law in this claustrophobic whodunnit. When the decomposed body of a woman is found in an apartment all of the houses residents are suspects. Intriguingly and thoughtfully paced, What Remains is an underrated work.

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29: Catastrophe (Channel 4) 2015-19

From a dysfunctional couple to an even more dysfunctional family, creators Sharon Horgan and Rob Delaney put their namesakes through the mill with a mixture of highly developed intelligent comedy and plenty of potty mouthed goodness. A warts and all look into modern relationships.

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28: People Just Do Nothing (BBC3) 2014-18

The mockumentary on a mock pirate radio station kurupt FM. Consider yourself mocked with strange garage beats and the ridiculous adventures of a gang with the common sense of school children. Funnier that Craig David’s back catalogue, People Just Do Nothing has a unique flow and poetry to its comedy.

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27: Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience (BBC Wales) 2010-18

It’s official, Rhod Gilbert can make anything funny. In one of the episodes he works in a hotel and changes beds yet manages to weild more laughs than Basil Fawlty achieved before serving breakfast. He flies a plane, becomes a vet and even poses as a male model. However, what truly makes the show is Rhod’s gruff, cynical and quick-fire narration. His unrelenting one-liners prove he should stick with being a comedian.

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26: Doctor Foster (BBC1) 2015-17

Suranne Jones gives a powerhouse performance as a woman betrayed by the equally screen stealing Bertie Carvel. It’s a small town show with grand ideas, some of them absolutely barmy, but Mike Bartlett’s script pushes the intrigue and suspense to extreme levels. It’s a theatre play portrayed as a glossy small screen spectacle. Doctor Foster is about the complexities of adult relationships but with a heightened, melodramatic fizz.

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25: Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle (BBC2) 2009-2016

You know Stewart Lee, you’ve seen him. On the telly. His Comedy Vehicles are thirty minute, meandering diatribes and they are essential. Between his takes on “The UKIPS” and Chris Moyles, Lee berates himself and the audience in ever decreasing stages of madness. Iconic television that deserved more love.

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24: Broadchurch (ITV) 2013-17

It’s easy to forget the cultural impact of Broadchurch back in the first season. The nation was hooked on the mystery of Danny Latimer’s death but it was in the harrowing effect on the local community where writer Chris Chibnall really struck gold. David Tennant and Olivia Colman as Hardy and Miller, two cops thrown together, were the definition of chemistry.

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Yes, series two was a bit of a letdown but the change of direction in the last run got the show back within touching distance of greatness again with a difficult subject handled with class. Series one won’t just be a classic of the last ten years, it will forever be a classic nonstop.

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23: Taskmaster (Dave) 2015-

Put a bunch of comedians in a room and you’re bound to be entertained. Get them to do ridiculous tasks and put them in a room to talk about doing the ridiculous tasks and you have an instant comedy franchise. Greg Davies and Alex Horne monitor proceedings in the hope things get out of hand and they often do. For instance, that time Liza Tarbuck got Alex to sit on a cake with his naked bottom.

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22: Bang (S4C) 2017-

A multilingual crime drama based in Port Talbot, Bang was an intense thriller which was essentially about one single gun and the chain of effects it has. Dark, twisty and so beautifully shot the town itself was a main character. Stories are rarely told from these corners of Britain and the good news is there’s a second series starts in early 2020.

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21: Stranger Things (Netflix) 2016-

It was acceptable in the 2010s. Hmm, not quite so catchy is it? The Duffer brothers piled on the nostalgia and dayglow horror to provide Netflix with one of their biggest ever hits. While evil tree branchy type things are the focus of the show’s evil, Stranger Things is all the classic buddy movies brought to the small screen.

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Let’s face it, things with child actors are usually fucking awful but the show’s biggest success is how wonderful the main cast are. The third series saw an evolution and change of direction so hopes are high for the future of Stranger Things.

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20: Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish (Dave) 2013-17

Imagine Black Mirror if it was much more obscure and performed by a comedian. That’s the pitch. Dave Gorman is in the form of his life as he studies the intricacies of modern day living with his own unique perspectives. Be it online shopping, hassling Alan Sugar with billboards or furrowing the real depths of the internet – the comment sections. Cynical but warm, opinionated but friendly. Modern Life is Goodish was most excellentish.

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19: Cucumber (Channel 4) 2015

Russell T. Davies wrote a study on modern day homosexuality through they eyes of Henry (the excellent Vincent Franklin) a middle-aged man who has his life turned upside down after a party that involves a death. He flees his previously stable relationship to house share with a flat full of young strangers led by 19 year old Dean.

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In typical Davies style Cucumber is laced with innuendo and high energy plotting. It’s some of the bravest drama commited to television. It’s funny and heartbreaking and leaves you on a constant seesaw between the two. There is one particular scene that is so shocking it’ll effect you for days. You’ll know it when you see it.

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While being crude without ever being tasteless, Cucumber was always about the bigger message. By challenging society’s perceptions of gayness and all sexuality it stands the test of time. The last, subtle line uttered by Henry is quite the ending for this one and done series.

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18: Spotless (Netflix) 2015

Jean Bastiere’s life was perfect on the surface with his lovely family and big house but appearances are deceiving. His job could almost be a metaphor for he runs a business that cleans up after crime scenes. His world is turned upside down when his brother Martin visits with a freezer and a dead body inside. Like you do. What follows is a chain of events that spiral out of control, so much so they end up working for a mob by clearing up their dirty work.

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Spotless is dramatic, cinematic and full of bleak humour in the darkest of circumstances. It’s the compelling story of a good man taken way out of his comfort zone but it’s Denis Menochet who plays Martin’s scruffy womanising bad boy with glee that steals the show.

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As compelling as it was gory, a second series was on the cards but sadly it seems network wranglings have put paid to those hopes. We’ll have to keep Spotless as an eternal sunshine of our minds.

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17: Misfits (E4) 2009-2015

Not all superheroes wear capes – some wear boilersuits. Cruder than Superman in a brothel, more disgusting than Batman’s coke habit but funnier than Ardal O’ Hanlon in My Hero. Seriously.

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Five juvenile offenders team up to do community service but a freak thunderstorm gives them powers they don’t understand and the magical ability to kill all their probation officers. Clumsy.

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If Misfits had been American then it’d have been glossy and the superpowers would have been useful. Instead these delinquents botch their way through misadventures while trying to shag eachother.

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Misfits flows with energy and off-kilter weirdness. From the bizarre (sample line: “Fuck the Tortoise, Alex”) to the blasphemous (THAT nativity scene).

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While it didn’t quite adjust to an entirely new cast with as much comfort as a certain show that is higher on this list, Misfits was and will always be a riot.

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16: My Mad Fat Diary (E4) 2013-15

An eye-catching take on teenage life based on the real-life experiences and book of Rae Earl. It’s Sharon Rooney’s task to express Rae’s issues with body image, mental health and self-abuse and she does so with great dignity and humour. If this had been a movie and not tucked away on E4 then all the awards would have been falling at Rooney’s feet

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Set in the nineties, My Mad Fat Diary tells the story of her interegration into a group of school friends, one of whom is Chloe, played by the then up and coming Jodie Comer. You may have heard of her?

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Colourful, brash and highly inventive yet all that still ignores the kick ass nineties soundtrack. By using The Charlatans’ ‘One To Another’ as the theme song it was never going to do wrong was it?

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15: Sherlock (BBC1) 2010-17

These Sherlock Holmes adventures set in present day London were full of writer’s Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ usual sense of wonder and wilful deception. Everything clicked from the first minute and in Benedict Cumberbatch a rising star shone brightly.

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The feature length episodes flew by with the help of brilliant dialogue and eye-catching cinematography, a lot of which has been copied to death since. Sherlock was fun and over the top but it’s extremity was what made it a trendsetter. Incredibly crafted plotlines took unexpected tangients and series 4, which many hated, was all the madness spilling over. Did it jump the shark by the end? Yes. Was it still highly watchable crime drama with twists galore? Absolutely.

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14: Uncle (BBC3) 2014-17

Nick Helm plays the dishevelled Andy who is forced to be young Errol’s (Elliot Speller-Gillott) uncle in nature more than just in name and a beautiful if strange friendship results. So far, so very twee you’re thinking? Except it’s done under the influence of alcohol and drug addiction while bursting into inappropriate songs. Dylan Moran even appears as a wizard. Potty mouthed but full of emotional resonance, Uncle was a family pack of laughter.

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13: Black Mirror (Channel 4 & Netflix) 2011-

Black Mirror’s first ever episode involved the Prime Minister fucking a pig and that’s one of the more normal plots that bears resembence to our times. Charlie Brooker’s anthology series on mankind’s relationship with technology might have dystopian overtones but sometimes the stories reflect the news in the months that follow transmission.

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Dark, twisted, satirical, frightening and sometimes, just sometimes funny. A constant parade of strong casts and intriguing plots mean Black Mirror continues to be worryingly relevant and episodes such as ‘San Junipero’ and ‘Hang The DJ’ prove it’s not all doom and gloom.

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12: Luther (BBC1) 2010-2019?

Idris Elba is commanding as detective John Luther. Sure, his personal life is complex but it gets a lot weirder when he runs into Alice Morgan (played with a devilish viguer by Ruth Wilson). Alice is a murderer our antagonist can’t lock up. Against all odds they form a crime fighting partnership which surprisingly doesn’t follow rules.

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In short, Luther is a mad show. A crime drama that’s permanently heightened and that’s where the fun lies. Writer Neil Cross revels in the world of this alternative London with a dark hearted crime drama that’s both thrilling and extremely gory. It’s a near perfect balance of murder mystery and action. You’re either not into Luther or you’re along for the whole ride. Just don’t get the night bus, eh?

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11: Happy Valley (BBC1) 2014-

Writer and creator Sally Wainwright had a prolific decade of not just hit television, but top quality television at that. Last Tango In Halifax, Scott & Bailey and Gentlemen Jack add to what was an already impressive CV but arguably the high-water mark is Happy Valley.

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Sarah Lancashire is sensational as police sergeant Catherine Caewood, a woman struggling with her daughter’s suicide and living with her alcoholic sister. Tommy Lee Royce, played by James Norton who is clearly enjoying going dark side. Tommy has recently been released from prison. The thing is, he raped Catherine’s daughter and was ultimately responsible for for her death, not that he got locked up for that. His new found freedom causes fractures in catherines personal and work life.

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Gritty is a word that could sum up Happy Valley as the backdrop for all this is a small working class town riddled with poverty and addiction. These are themes that run through the show.

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The dialogue is so masterfully constructed and real to life and an impressive cast brings life to this little world with big problems. Wainwright has such a natural ability to make characters real and not just half-arsed sketches.

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Despite such a huge chasm of time since the last series there is a third in the works but it’s likely we’ll have to wait at least a couple more years. The pace of life in the country is slower to be fair.

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10: Inside No.9 (BBC2) 2014-

From the, let’s say perverse, minds that gave us The League Of Gentlemen and Psychoville came a horror anthology as shocking as it was surprising. Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton dreamt up the surreal, the creepy, the mad and everything else on the bonkers spectrum.

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By it’s very nature there will be episodes that disappoint, it’s range of tone and subjects won’t translate to everyone at all times, but if you don’t take to one episode it’s likely you’ll fall in love with the next. When it excels it’s one of the best things committed to telly. The variation and depth of material is to be respected.

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The silent episode ‘A Quiet Night In’ was the first hint that we had something special but the tone always shifts. Take ‘The 12 Days of Christine’ which is genuinely heartbreaking. Or Zanzibar which is a hotel based farce spoken entirely in spoof Shakespearian. In ‘Diddle Diddle Dumpling’ a man becomes obsessed with a stray shoe. There’s plenty more where that came from.

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2018’s live Halloween special could have been the moment Inside No.9 ate itself but they mastered every detail to perfection and so high was the concept they got viewers switching off in droves. That’s art that is.

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The new decade will usher in the fifth series and as usual we have no idea what to expect other the the number nine being involved. Who knows, maybe even that’s not a guarantee.

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9: Detectorists (BBC4) 2014-17

In a decade where cynicism grew exponentially, MacKenzie Crook offered an obscure form of light relief. Tucked away on BBC4 and offering a comforting hug to those who discovered it in the ditches of the TV schedules, Detectorists was never really about metal detecting – it was about friendship. Hapless though Lance and Andy were the important thing is they were nice. That’s it. It’s not very fashionable is it? We willed them to be better with women. We hoped they would find their pot of gold.

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Through stunning shots of the English countryside Detectorists brought a warm glow even if the weather conditions were drizzly. Lance and Andy nattering about nonsense was the heart of the show of course but no show is complete without a nemesis and in the ridiculous form of the ‘Antiquisearchers’ (or Simon & Garfunkel to be more precise) they definitely didn’t meet their match. So much comic gold was mined when the pairs squared up against each other.

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Let’s also not forget the oddball characters that made up the Danebury Metal Detecting Club and their awkward, mostly pointless meetings. It all added to a small world with a big heart. This should go down as an all-time classic comedy, one that gave our flawed antiheroes the ending they deserved.

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8: Community (NBC & Yahoo Screen) 2009-2015

Meet Jeff Winger, a lawyer who finds himself at Greendale Community College after having his degree revoked. Jeff stands as the morale conscience of the show despite not having many morals. He meets dipsy Troy, geeky Abed, grouchy Pierce, bubbly Shirley, cutesy Annie and not so brittle Britta. They’re the seven dwarfs of pop culture references and meta comedy.

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What starts out as pretty standard fare soon blossoms into a programme full of creativity and fierce intelligence. Community starts descending, or rather ascending into a world of crazy parodies and obscure ideas with the crazy dial up at eleven. There’s the spectacular episode where we visit many different timelines including Abed’s darkest. There’s the paintball episodes where Greendale keeps becoming a surreal shooting range. Then there’s the episode that is entirely animated. If these sound a bit too gimmicky then there’s the bottle episode where they’re in one room just looking for Annie’s pen.

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Creator and lead writer Dan Harmon (now in charge of Rick And Morty) was absent from the often ridiculed fourth series which the show itself later referred to as “the gas leak year”. We had six seasons in the end but will we ever get the movie?

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7: Mongrels (BBC3) 2010-11

RUSSELL HOWARD’S EYES! Yes this is a high placing and it’s fully deserved. Welcome to the back garden of a pub in the Isle of Dogs, this way madness lies. Maybe “welcome” isn’t the word because being called a cunt may not be considered de rigueur in polite society… and this isn’t polite society. Only posh fox Nelson could fall under that category for he’s a metro-sexual il Divo fan.

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The rest of the puppet reprobates that make up the cast are Vince the sweary fox, Kali the bad pun pigeon and Destiny the selfish dog but the less said about her the better (if only they’d followed up on the hint that she’d died at the end of series one) Lastly, and certainly not least there’s Marion the bin dwelling cat who is many furballs short of common sense.

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While clearly influenced by fast-paced American comedies, Mongrels revels in the shitness of Britain. It’s crude, lewd and even offensive if you’re of a certain disposition. No subjects are off limits and it proved more cutting than any satirical show out there. They managed to do this in stories about Marion getting stuck in a wheel and training Michael Jackson’s monkey to stop masturbating.

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It’s scattered with pop culture references, some of which have admittedly dated in the past ten years but many still stick. There’s also lots of brief appearances from celebrities willing to be ridiculed. Let’s face it, some are more known than others. Who’s Paul Ross?

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Then there are the songs, oh boy, those songs. Marion’s ode to his underage sweetheart Lollipop, Nelson’s tourist advertisement for Millwall (“No-one’s been stabbed here since Friday / Arson is on the decline”). The previously mentioned monkey singing of his desire to murder Justin Bieber. There are so many slices of inappropriate should have been hits.

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The attention to detail in both the puppetry and blink and you miss them visual jokes show a real creativity that’s gone into making of the show. The voice work is exceptional too with nods to Rufus Jones as Nelson and Dan Tetsell’s baffling transilvanian accent for Marion being the true stars of the show.

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Mongrels was cut short when in its prime as the best things often are, like Princess Diana and Fuse bars.

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6: Utopia (Channel 4) 2013-14

Meeting people you know online in real life isn’t as frowned upon as it once was but if Utopia is anything to go by, perhaps it should be. Foul mouthed Becky (Alexandra Roach), straight laced Ian (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett) and the paranoid Wilson Wilson (Adeel Akhtar) had been chatting together on a forum about ‘The Utopia Experiment’. This is a graphic novel which allegedly predicted the disasters of the previous century but it’s the unpublished follow up which everyone thinks will save the human race, that makes people lose their minds.

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This new strange alliance sets out to find the manuscript for good reasons but ‘The Network’ want it for bad and go on a killing spree. Neil Maskell is fascinating as the sullen Arby, the murderer who has his own catchphrase in “Where is Jessica Hyde?!” We, the viewer soon find her and she’s played with relish by Fiona O’ Shaughnessy.

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In keeping with the comic book theme, the palette in Utopia is visually striking with its bright, bold colours where yellow is the stand out. Look very closely and you’ll see how much it subtly filters into virtually every element of the show. It adds to the uniqueness of a thriller that would stand on its own anyway.

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The brilliant soundtrack supplied by Cristobal Tapia de Veer is another important factor. The electronic glitches and uneasy bleeps sit perfectly with the oddness of the world Dennis Kelly has created. Imagine The Chemical Brothers on antidepressants.

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Utopia is darkly comic and comically gruesome. While not the fastest moving of shows, the storytelling, humour and sense of farce are what give the urgency. Never a show to play it safe, so much so that the first episode of the second run was a genesis story featuring none of the main cast. From humble beginnings to eugenics and the dark forces behind it, this was a television masterclass and it’s influence on television dramas that followed is clear.

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Everyone on the screen is playing a blinder (that’s an in-joke for fans) but there are two stand out performances. Alexandra Roach embodies the opinionated and strong willed Becky with classic one liners and Adeel Akhtar’s nerdy, complex Wilson Wilson is so good they named him twice.

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If Utopia has one major flaw it’s that there was no resolution. The story hadn’t finished and that is an insult to the writer, cast and fans. Series two ended on a cliffhanger and then Channel 4 pulled the plug. The Network were evil commissioners all along. There was talk of a streaming site taking it on but nothing ever materialised. There is however an American remake in the offing but that must be greeted with cynicism. The original story wasn’t fully told, why start a new one? There wasn’t a show like this before and there hasn’t been one since. Utopia is small screen paradise – if paradise involves a lot of bad language and killing.

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5: Peaky Blinders (BBC1) 2013-

Back in 2013 the thought of Cillian Murphy playing a gangster would have seemed like we’d entered Abed’s dark timeline again. “Remember I’m an actor” he told writer Steven Knight when doubts were raised and what an actor he is. This slight, pretty man inhabited the demons of Tommy Shelby and made him walk tall into TV history.

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Peaky Blinders tells the story of a family between two wars. Brothers Tommy and Arthur are struggling to cope after returning as soldiers. Their PTSD manifests itself in different ways, Tommy is the brains of the operation and Arthur is the attack dog. The Shelby Company limited sets up an illegal bookies and they also start exporting booze and drugs. Needless to say they get caught up with all the wrong kinds of people. Or wronger kind of people.

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Peaky manages to be extremely violent and yet sumptuous to watch. It is crafted to near perfection to create a believable if grim world. Aesthetically no other show can compare as a period piece with this amazing interpretation of the times.

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Backed up by a stellar cast including Helen McCrory and Sophie Rundle and guests such as Sam Neil, Paddy Considine and some bloke called Tom Hardy, Peaky Blinders continues to deliver shocks and emotional gut punches. Should we care so much about a criminal gang? Of course not but the combination of Knight’s writing, the remarkable direction, loud as fuck soundtrack and perfect cast means we can loosen our morals a little.

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4: No Offence (Channel 4) 2015-18

Crime Dramas have been ten a penny the last ten years but creator Paul Abbott had his own take on the genre. Sure, there were elements of ‘Shameless’ in the DNA but this was like no show ever seen before. No Offence was chaotic, bizarre and hard hitting. It was fast moving and dialogue heavy, so much so it could almost be disorientating. Hilarious one liners and ludicrous situations mixed effortlessly with big issues such as the murders of girls with Downs Syndrome, child slavery and far right politics.

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With all that going on you need the performances to pay off so step forward Joanna Scanlan as Viv Deering. Viv is intense, playful, hard as nails and vulnerable. Most of all though she’s funny as hell. There’s so many wonderful quotes that there’s no point going into them all. If she’s not using breath spray on her privates she’s breaking the rules in her own style. Deering has to go down as one the TV greats.

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It’s not all about Viv though. No Offence is an ensemble piece and everyone has their moments. Elaine Cassidy as the intensely moral but wayward Dina gives the performance of her career. Alexandra Roach as the innocent but kick ass Joy is a revelation. Then there’s Paul Ritter having the time of his life as Miller, a man who revels in the moribundity of it all and takes everything that bit too far. He is outstanding and one of his greatest moments came when he shouted “I’VE GOT GOAT ON ME!” before licking it off his coat “No, it’s Curry” Oh, by the way, they blew up a goat with a bomb. Of course they did.

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Sadly this year Channel 4 announced that No Offence was not coming back and that is a dreadful loss. Television needs brave, visionary storytelling like this. One day it will be considered as a classic and when it is Viv will be raising a wry smile knowing she was right all along. As always.

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3: Car Share (BBC1) 2015-18

On paper Car Share had all the appeal of being stuck in traffic with Jack Whitehall as a your passenger. Frankly, the premise of two colleagues going to and from work is hardly something to get the pulse racing. In an age where comedies are fast paced, abruptly edited and over the top, Car Share proved there’s hilarity in the mundane and plenty of heart in the normal. While it defied genre norms it also set a benchmark by smashing iPlayer viewing records.
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If you’re looking for epic plot twists and convoluted storylines then you won’t find them on the not so mean streets of Bolton. If however you want to see someone accidentally drink some piss then this is for you. It’s the mix of slapstick and intelligently observed long-form conversation that gives Car Share a warm, comforting feel and that’s nothing to do with the urine.
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Charm is a word used way too often in TV circles but this has it in spades. Two opposites collide and the results are fun and often bizarre. John (Peter Kay) is a grumpy cynic worn down by years of middle management. Kayleigh (Sian Gibson) on the other hand is the bright, perky and sometimes irritating angel on his shoulder. John’s view out of the windscreen is a foggy grey mist whereas Kaleigh sees sunshine and rainbows through the same glass. The actor’s real-life friendship shows on the screen. Opposites attract as the wise prophet Paula Abdul once said.
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Speaking of pop music, let’s hear it for the show’s third main character – Forever FM. The local radio station it’s ok to listen to. It’s upbeat music and oddball adverts soundtrack the show’s feel good tone perfectly. While your ears digest the cheese your eyes are distracted by ridiculous road signs and billboards. Ugly city landscapes are turned into comedy art. The attention to detail isn’t just in the script. Just don’t mention that dirty back window.

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While Peter Kay is on top form, the undoubted star of the car is Sian Gibson. Her portrayal of quirky Kayleigh is totally endearing. No-one has delivered a line about an iceberg lettuce quite so beautifully.
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There are so many classic moments from John’s loudspeaker call to his boss to Kayleigh’s neighbour going dogging. The standout might just be Reece Shearsmith’s appearance as a smelly fishmonger with anger issues. His scenes are full of such joy and the three of them together is comedy gold. Who doesn’t need a whiffy rendition of ‘Here Comes The Hotstepper?’

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They almost messed things up by giving the second series just four episodes that culminated in an unhappy ending. Due to public demand they came back with two specials in order to prevent the politest riot ever. Curiously one was an unscripted special which basically amounted to a DVD extra. The finale made up for everything though with an ending that was happy but not overly saccharine.
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Car Share first aired in 2015 and if you feel weighed down by all the gloom of current affairs then why not treat yourself to a rewatch and transport yourself back to more innocent times. Yes, it’s been a really long decade indeed but thank God John and Kayleigh were there to make us smile.

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2: Line Of Duty (BBC1) 2012-

First put out in 2012 during what will potentially be our last ever summer of love, Line Of Duty was the antithesis of the countries mood. While everybody was preoccupied with the Olympics and being proud of our country AC-12 were rooting out bent coppers before it was fashionable.

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Comprised of Ted Hastings (Adrian Dunbar) Kate Fleming (Vicky McClure) and Steve Arnott (Martin Compston) the anti-corrupton unit were hot on the tail of Tony Gates, a man they believed to be fiddling the figures. What seemed like a fantastic one series arc soon bleeds onto the new story of series two. Keeley Hawes took on the role of the hunted for one of the best moments of her career. From then on each new run catches you off guard and pulls your pants down. Everything, no matter how unconnected it seems, turns out to be part of a far bigger conspiracy.

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Jed Mercurio’s writing is so intricate and clever. Things don’t make the final draft for no reason. The sheer audacity to stick to the conspiracy whilst throwing in curveballs as bullets is the sign of a master at work. In Line of Duty he has created a vibrant, suspenseful thriller, the like of which has not been seen before. Far from being boring, thirty minute interrogation scenes are heart racing slabs of perfect melodrama. The beat to those interviews are almost hypnotic.

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Adrian Dunbar is in great form as Ted, a man so full of principles he might burst and let some secrets out. He’s authoritative, charming and has many a catchphrase to cause a chuckle in the most heated of moments. But every good man needs a nemesis and AC-12 has had its fair share so it’s worth mentioning that Lennie James, Keeley Hawes, Daniel Mays, Thandie Newton and Stephen Graham have all been worthy adversaries. All villains with shade and complexity. If they walked on stage at a panto they wouldn’t get booed. They’d be greeted by confusion. Mainly because five year olds won’t have watched Line of Duty. Craig Parkinson’s excellently sinister Dot would not only get booed but kicked out the theatre – by the children’s parents.

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2020 will see our favourite anti-corrupton unit (BOO TO AC-9!) return. Is Ted really dodgy? Will Arnott buy some more waistcoats? Just remember one thing – don’t trust anyone.

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1: Being Human (BBC3) 2009-2013

“So a werewolf, a ghost and a vampire decide to live like humans do. They get jobs, a house and a TV license. They make friends they will lie to, take lovers they will infect-in fact, the only part of humanity they successfully adopt is its ability to deceive and destroy”

A small scale domestic drama with a supernatural twist. It’s a simple houseshare premise but this time the inhabitants are a vampire, a ghost and a werewolf. The scope of creator Toby Whithouse’s vision meant BBC Three’s modest little show transcended it’s humble beginnings. The balance between mundane domesticity and ambitious science fiction is just part of what makes Being Human truly special. This isn’t grandiose Dracula style mythology nor is it tepid Twilight / Vampire Diaries nonsense.

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Initially set in Bristol with Mitchell (Aidan Turner) George (Russell Tovey) and Annie (Lenora Crichlow), series one could almost be classed as the innocent times. Innocent here translates as bloody killings, haunting your ex from the grave, being accused of fiddling with kids and a gruesome battle with an arch enemy. The masterstroke is that all these things happened between conversations about mouli graters and Marigolds. This balance continued perfectly throughout all five series. Switching between brooding intensity and full-on funny within seconds came naturally to a show that never played it safe. There were two mass murder sprees and a baby was blown up yet this doesn’t come close to describing the blood shed or services rendered as Mr. Snow might say. This deep mood is darkened further by composer Richard Well’s atmospheric original score.

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Being Human evolved further with a move to Barry Island and enforced cast changes that would’ve been a stake through the heart of most shows. In series four and five we were gifted with newcomer Damien Molony and his awkward bromance with Michael Socha’s Tom which, along with a move deeper into science fiction territory gave proceedings a new lease of life when it wasn’t thought to be needed. Kate Bracken’s Alex soon completed a new trio that weren’t given enough time together because the axe fell in 2013. While general consensus lies with the original trio being the best, what followed them is extremely underrated. The first three years may have been more consistent but when the last two years peaked the episodes were equal to and sometimes even better than the original incarnation. ‘Making History’ stands atop a very busy podium.

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One of the biggest factors in Being Human landing the top spot is the dialogue. Oozing with quotability and natural conversation, everything flows so bloody well. There isn’t a show around with dialogue this special. Take Hal’s tense reunion with Mr Snow in the cafe. Take George calling Mitchell “deadly furniture”. Take Herrick’s last speech in the cellar. Take Alex berating Hal for causing her death. Take the epic Captain Hatch speech in the finale. Take Ivan’s shruggles to stay clean (“I’m this close to wiping out an entire branch of Argos”) Take it all for goodness sake and annoy your friends by quoting it all the sodding time. Who cares if they have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.

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It goes without saying how strong the aforementioned actors are but Being Human was chock full of talent everywhere you looked. Sinead Keenan’s Nina was an undervalued character but a vital part of the story. It may be because she dumped George and challenged Mitchell as to why praise wasn’t heaped on in spades but it’s easy to forget that she started out human. Nina is us, the viewer, except she actually inhabits this strange world for the first time but still with all her natural instincts and moral convinctions at her core. In the second and third installments particularly Sinead deserved equal billing.

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Then there was Herrick, the greatest baddy there’s ever been. On the surface he looked about as threatening as a lamppost but Jason Watkins took a great villain on paper and twisted him into something special. He acted his socks off with knowing smiles and wicked grins. So good was Watkins that on Herrick’s grand return he made us think the old rogue could have some redemption inside his cold, cold body. Silly us.

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The acting credits are an impressive rollcall featuring respected names such as Donald Sumpter and Phil Davis to early roles for up and coming performers. Craig Roberts played a perverted teenager in his forties, Alexandra Roach fell apart as a decomposing zombie, Sacha Dhawan hunted vampires so badly they slayed him and Sara Pascoe was a widow ghost mum. There are too many to mention because it’s bewildering and that’s before you hear who some of the writers are. As you ask, Tony Basgallop, Lisa McGee, Sarah Phelps and Jamie Mathieson to name some.

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Long story short, if you haven’t watched Being Human then make a start on it today. If you have watched it then do it again and again until Toby Whithouse is in 10 Downing Street and its script is taught on every school syllabus. SHOW NO MERCY.

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Years And Years (Episode 4 Review)

 

As time lapses further into the future of 2027, governments are changing almost as quickly as the impending sense of doom. For the first time in the UK and by hook or by crook the new Prime Minister is Vivienne Rook. That’s the country shook.

The central focus this time is the troubled relationship of Daniel and Viktor. The trouble comes from outside sources but when the outside sources threaten banishment and murder the stakes are high. Dan and Viktor are engaged but they have to flee a Spanish revolution. The socialist government has been ousted and their safe space is now dangerous. 

It is a stressful journey to get back to England, through being scammed for money and hiding in the luggage compartment of a bus. Russell Tovey and Maxim Baldry are a playing an absolute blinder here, summing up their innocent quest to love freely and the heartache when their hope keeps ebbing away. The expected doom arrives but it is still a brutal piece of television. They manage to get to a boat but it’s a distressing watch as too many panicked refugees spill onto it. Dark screens cut to an idyllic beach covered in dead bodies and one of them is Daniel Lyons. It’s reminiscent of when the writer shocked viewers with a death in Cucumber. Television can be powerful and emotional, it can make important statements.

The rest of the episode has peaks and troughs. The peaks are in little touches like the fact that Mary Nightingale has aged extremely well, those breath tests for ID and Stephen’s drug addled side affect where he keeps looking left. Even that could have been a literal political nod. 

The troughs? Rosie setting up a burger van business by borrowing £10,000 off gran when it’s not that clear what the point is. The same can be said of Celeste broadcasting Stephen’s affair with Elaine. Has he been having an affair because of the dystopian situation or just because Celeste is a horrible person? While it’s all perfectly performed by the cast it feels a little out of place and very much in the shadow of Daniel’s tragic death.

You think things are bleak now? We still have 120 minutes to go and  Rook is now in control. God help us all.

Years And Years (Episode 2 Review)

So it turns out the world hasn’t ended which is a good job because the last five episodes of dead air might have been a tough watch for even the most hardened TV obsessive. After such a dramatic finale last week the mood is naturally rather subdued but on screen this post adrenaline slump comes across too. We have moved a year forward and only a few thousand people died in the nuclear attack (phew) so Edith is positively glowing (with radiation) as she returns to England. Mood wise she’s grumpy and fed up with activism but a shortened lifespan will do that to you.

We knew of her return in a strange move a week ago when she showed up in the ‘next time’ reel, somewhat ruining the dramatic conclusion and that’s how episode two feels. It’s the difficult second episode. That’s not to say anything is particularly bad here, it just doesn’t live up to the hype it has built for itself.

In a world of technology and impending political doom, Russell T. Davies is going for the emotional jugular. He’s finding the human in the inhumane. Not that there’s much humanity in Celeste but it’s difficult not to feel a modicum of sympathy for her as daughter Bethany becomes a walking phone (a literal mobile?) and gets closer to the cloud than a Ryanair flight.  Part machine and part human, Bethany is Robocop for the digital age. But without the weapons. Or armour. Or police status. So not like Robocop at all really so forget that analogy. The point is, bar an imprint on her wrist she looks normal when she is anything but. She walks among us. The insanity of it fits in comfortably into day to day life.

Daniel is now happy with Viktor after the refugee romp (registered trademark) but we know full well that such positivity was never going to last long. His bitter and still boring ex reports Viktor to the authorities for having a glamorous petrol station job and their unity is torn apart. Even this, the poignant epicentre of the sixty minutes falls flat. Daniel doesn’t seem too alarmed and Viktor has the aura of a man who’s been upgraded to a posh suite at the Ritz. Of course it is early stages and it’ll be interesting to see how the issue is handled.

Meanwhile Viv Rook is continuing her takeover of the media by staring into every single camera. Seriously, politicians don’t do that. Not in 2019 anyway. In a well observed hustings she grasps victory from the jaws of defeat. When her own policies don’t stand up to scrutiny and affective debate beats her she resorts to sloganeering and soundbites. The blink device, used to turn off everyone’s phones is a masterstroke and so too are Rosie’s conflicted attitudes towards the politician. From dismissal, to undecided, to getting a selfie. The cult of personality is winning over the tedium of policies.

Immigration, Climate change and right at the very end, banks are the main focuses. In a reference to the financial collapse of 2007 Stephen loses his money but he’s not alone. The streets are flooded with angry customers and perhaps the streets is where some of them may remain. There is plenty going on in Years and Years with copious avenues to explore but it felt like a hangover from that synthetic alcohol the Lyons experimented with. Last week was an induced high but this was the duvet day that follows.

Years And Years (Episode 1 Review)

Ambition is perhaps a word that is overused when it comes to describing art, so much so that it’s become unambitious. It’s an oxymoron worthy of Years And Years, the latest creation from the much respected Russell T Davies. This opening episode is a bold statement of intent and there is definitely the sense that he’s going for, not only a grand artistic statement but plenty of artistic licence to boot. One family, fifteen years and six episodes. 

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To begin with we cosy up in the respective living rooms of the Lyons family. Daniel (Russell Tovey) who looks set to be the moral centre of this screwed up universe is shocked by a statement from politician Vivienne Rook (Emma Thompson) on Question Time (thankfully not fronted by Fiona Bruce so this alternate reality can’t be too bad). Things get political from this very first scene and there goes on to be references to Donald Trump, Brexit and the word salad our politicians deal in today. Daniel even works at a refugee camp as part of his role as “boring housing officer”.

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Meanwhile Stephen and Celeste Lyons (Rory Kinnear and T’Nia Miller) are having issues with their daughter who, after a truly funny Snapchat filter aping scene, declares she wants to be “transhuman” which basically involves becoming disembodied and uploaded to a cloud. It’s a Classic Russell T Davies moment in the Doctor Who style element of the idea and in the line “I will go analogue if I have to!” that Celeste barks in anger.

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Rosie Lyons (Ruth Madeley) gives birth and the scene is set. The Lyon family are the backdrop for our journey into the unknown. Suddenly we rush through a few years faster than you can take a sip of your tea. Trump has been elected for a second term and in direct parallels to actual current events, Rook has set up ‘The Four Star Party’. Many viewers will class Years and Years as snowflake left-wing propaganda and perhaps it doesn’t get it’s message out in the most subtle of ways but the script and performances are powerful enough to override such directness. It does perfectly capture the rate at which technology is moving and the growing disconnect in human interaction. There’s a strange sense of unreality in a very real world. As Daniel sagely points out “our brains are devolving”

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Lastly we meet another Lyons in the pack. Edith (Jessica Hynes) who is an activist doing good deeds abroad. As the family connect over technology (of course) war sirens blare as America launches an attack on well, exactly where Edith is. From the mundane beginning to a near apocalyptic end. It’s a world where bodies are no longer physical, communication is impersonal, sex is literally robotic and Russell T Davies’ writing is at its eclectic finest.

 

TIME AND TIME AGAIN:

 

– Could Russell Tovey star in his own spin off series called ‘Ears And Ears?’. Ahem. 

 

– What is the relevance of Daniel’s soon to be doomed marriage and his affair with a Ukrainian refugee? The need for affection and not someone consumed by technology? 

 

– Will things end as bleak as they seem? Will humanity win in the end? 

 

– If everyone had a 3D Snapchat dog filter would the RSPCA be inundated with even more unwanted dogs. Doesn’t bear thinking about.

 

– Flippin’ eck. Who else thought some of the accents sounded more Yorkshire than Mancunian? 

Being Human: My Least Favourite Episodes

It’s no news to anyone that knows me that Being Human is my favourite TV show of all time. There has been no show that combines comedy, drama and a near constant impending sense of doom with such madcap bonkerishness (not an actual word). It is off the scale in terms of its balance between the mundane and the epic. From Marigolds to massacres, it is a small budget TV show with a heart bigger than a million Hollywood blockbusters. There’s not a day goes by where I don’t quote it. it’s just a natural thing for me, like putting the kettle on or going on Twitter. It’s instinctive, it is part of my being and I’m fine with that.

If you’ve never seen it, I will always encourage newcomers to watch and hopefully bulk up what is a very cult fanbase. As it turns out, Iplayer have put all five series back on this very week so there’s no excuse. It’s dialogue is electric, the best I’ve ever known and it might (WILL) break your heart. A few times over. Here’s the thing though, it’s not perfect and that’s the crux of what this blog post is all about really. When you love something so much you notice its flaws more and take them more to heart. It’s like a proper human relationship but without the fun of make up sex or spooning.

So it got me thinking: I should watch the episodes that, off the top of my head, I like the least. The ones which have aspects that I struggle most with and give them another chance on their own terms. Sure I could watch my favourites over and over again (Oh wait, I do) but that’s for another post. There’s no bad episode but I guess the one’s I’ve highlighted here have a key moments that jar or don’t sit right. Initially..

4.3: The Graveyard Shift

“Four hundred years. In dark rooms, libraries and cellars. Pouring over manuscripts, scrolls, books covered in mildew. Because you can’t Google this stuff, you know. I’ve got asthma. Actual asthma. Vampires don’t get asthma. And no one wanted to know about my work. They just laughed and ate another virgin.”

.. would have been on the list but I actually watched this a few weeks ago and there’s no way it should be there because it is the episode where Hal and Tom truly clicked as a screen force. Their collective awkwardness over NUTS magazine and the vain attempts at chatting up a human are pure comedy gold. There are so many wonderful lines. It is an hilarious episode that matches the funny and dark superbly and that is always when Being Human is at its best.

The underlining problems I had with this episode way back when was the overly cartoonish depiction of a goth girl and the weird comedy music that accompanied it. I’m over that now. I am. I’ve matured and everything. The only real faults lie in the last ten minutes. Being Human has never been overly great at action packed fight scenes (give me the improved stylistics of the Hal/Tom bar brawl in series five anyday) but the showdown with the vamps in Honolulu is messy and just plain odd. Worse follows with some truly strange editing when Michaela wakes as a vampire with baffling “comedy” faces and sound affects. It feels drawn from another show entirely. Then to complete a disappointing end to a great episode, Hal’s line about Ivan and Daisy rankles. Annie never met either of them and there’s no evidence that she had even heard of Ivan. But, alas, the preceeding fifty minutes are a thing of wonder so we’ll let it off. It also makes uber-cool use of Elbow’s ‘Grounds For Divorce’ and that is a very great thing indeed.

It must be noted that there is nothing from series one or two on this post and that’s not due to any pretentious “nothing will beat the original trio” mindset. I just think it’s natural that once you ring chances to a show (some were enforced) and when you try new things, there will be more hit and miss moments. It is to the credit of the show that the writers and producers never rested on their laurels and each series is very different. Actually, the high points of s3-5 out awesome the awesome highs of the first two. I can hear your disagreement from here.

So, strap yourselves in and prepare to be treated to barbaric geekery. Here are my least favourite episodes of my favourite ever show. Which will come out bottom once and for all? Or top of the least good. Ah, you know what I mean. Oooh the tension is..  bearable.

 

3.1: Lia

“No funny stuff here, you’ll have to go to Swansea for that..”

First and foremost, it’s a surprise to me more than anyone that a Toby penned episode is in this catagory. There’s not even to say this is a bad episode, actually in Being Human there’s no such thing as bad so we’ll go with ‘least good’. For some reason it just seems to be one of the ones I’ve watched the least of. That is still quite a lot by the way.

Thre’s an element of starting again as the trio move into a new house in a new town but the bantz is a strong as ever. The only place where things suffer are in Mitchell’s trip to purgatory. While placing him at the scenes of crimes is important as it sees his conscience struggle and makes the audience aware just how evil he is because just hearing about it can make fangirls block it out. However the process feels all too laboured, not helped by Lia being a little irritating.

So the main reason the episode doesn’t stand out from the crowd is maybe down to the chain of dubious events it sets up for the rest of series three. Ironic as it a run where the knock on effects of actions is a major theme. Mitchell’s rescue of Annie from hell is a big clunkbuster of a set up for them persuing intimate relations with eachother. I never felt the need for them to be a pairing and no matter how many times people have tried saying that it was foreshadowed in previous episodes it just wasn’t. Hence the clunky clunkbuster. Characters don’t have to be going out for us to care when there’s an inevitable disaster, not if the writing is good enough which it is here. As a result, M-Annie sees our favourite ghost turn into a lovesick puppy and Mitchell neglect his Alberto Balsam more than ever. Not only that but George and Nina take a huge backseat, their sole storyline away from Mitchell’s downfall being the pregnancy.

There are many great moments, the dialogue (DUH), the estate agent’s droll ways, dogging in the forest and of course we see Tom and McNair for the first time. As for Annie’s wonderful speech on returning.. first class. Who knew that pouring a cup of tea could be so emotional?

 

3.6: Daddy’s Ghoul

“What lies beneath the surface..”

My initial response to Daddy’s Ghoul was utter confusion as to why, after the magnificence of Herrick’s glorious return in The Longest Day, he fades into the background. His threat rendered almost impotent. With hindsight this isn’t actually true. Mitchell tries to bludgeon him with his own inferior blood and then finds himself centre of DC Nancy Reid’s attention re The Box Tunnel 20. it’s not long before ‘Uncle Billy’ soon has her blood on his mind. I now view Herrick’s more minor role as subtle suspense building and retract my views of 2011!

Can I state now just how much I like Nancy? At the time of the finale I was hoping she’d come back as either a ghost or a vampire and have more of a role in series 4, potentially as Mitchell’s replacement. Granted, the fanbase would find it very hard to accept the woman who was mostly responsible for his death. She’s mouthy, intelligent, cunning and sarcastic (“That really is a nice cup of tea. Seriously, I’ve shagged for less”). All hail Nancy Reid, a copper it’s ok to like. And fancy. Ahem.

The interchange between George and his dad is both sweet and funny, bond as they do over Strictly Come Dancing and Titanic and it’s only when they visit mummy Sands that things go awry. The punch and make up scene feels too soapy but most bizarre about the whole situation is that his parents, having just been reunited with their long lost, presumed dead son are soon swanning off to Cornwall without a care in the world despite the fact they   perceive George to be a mentally unstable fantasist. But it’s ok because he has a girlfriend who is also a mentally unstable fantasist too so is obviously in good hands. Is it played out as a final goodbye? Who knows. Ultimately it didn’t move George’s story on in any way. He didn’t get any kind of closure from meeting his parents and telling them. It sort of limped to an ending. Still, this is a much better episode than I’ve subconsciously thought and am happy to be proved wrong.

And now i want to do a blog on my fave guest characters because Nancy would definitely be in it. I can write too many things about this programme. Which is a worry.

 

4.4: A Spectre Calls

“I. DON’T. CARE. WHERE’S ME CHEERIOS?”

An episode can either sink or swim by its premise alone and A Spectre Calls has nearly too many holes to save its better moments. Alfie Kirby, a ghost who passed away due to ignorance of the Green Cross code he was supposedly an expert of, turns up on the doorstep. He has been sent from the afterlife to help with the baby, or so he says. In reality (and i use that word loosely), he has been sent by another force to kill baby Eve and thus save the planet. The basic concept is flawed from the off though. Kirby spends all episode gaining Annie’s trust and turning the house against each other in order to get closer to Eve but.. HELLOOOO!! He could just rentaghost to the kid, do his murderous work and be done. Early on he is even in the attic with Eve and let’s not forget he has her in his hands when he winds Hal up. Of course, it’s a drama and the machinations that build up to it are where the entertainment lies but when there’s no need for it, that’s where patience is tested.

Let’s overlook Kirby’s cartoonish (there’s that word again) style choices and accept that it is a brilliantly creepy performance by James Lance but the trouble is it’s TOO creepy from the minute we see him. The inhabitants of Honolulu must have taken stupid pills to first, let him in and second, not be more alert to his blatant manipulation. He was so obviously a wrong ‘un that there’s no suspense at play. Of course he wasn’t sent by Nina. Of course he was there to kill the baby.

There are great moments of course. Tom’s excitement, followed by anger as his housemates “ignore” his birthday brings out the much underrated line highlighted above. Always makes me laugh that one. The confrontation as Kirby tells Hal of all the murdered ladies (all the murdered ladies, eh eh oh eh eh oh) he’s met touches a raw nerve. Our Lord Harry is responsible for more women in heaven than there are racists at an EDL rally.

The scene where Kirby belittles Annie into fading towards seeming oblivion is one twist that was powerful and important in two senses: It stays true to the concept of a ghost fading as they lose their familiars (Mitchell, George, Nina) but on her return it also shows that the bond with her new housemates is now strong enough too. Speaking of which, after all the previous hints we get our first real glimpse of how strong Annie can be as she squishes the mass murdering weirdo into… somewhere. Who know where. Let’s just hope it involves a blender and his genitals in close proximity.

 

4.6: Puppy Love

“Hairy balls. LOL”

Slapstick is the order of the day here and for the most part it pays off to great effect. Allison (yes, two L’s) tracks down Tom (with a T) and so ensues his first dealings with love and heartbreak. It’s an important stepping stone in his transition from puppy to man and it’s lovely to watch two naive young adults navigate their hormones for the first time. My problem with Allison, other than the spelling is not in the performance but more in the blatant stereotyping of her image: Thick rimmed glasses, garish big jumper and satchel full of achievement badges. for the record, who these days boasts about a Blue Peter badge?

Emrys is a cracker of a grumpy character but then he has just been killed by Annie so fair enough on that count. From bad mouthing his ex wife, perving in the bathroom to getting locked in a cupboard. A moment so choreographed you could see Bruno Tonioli skipping across the screen and yet it still worked. In a act of heavy foreboding his parting gift is to teach Annie that there’ll have to be no more Mrs nice girl.

There is so much to love from Hal here too, egg rearranging, mop karaoke, awkward answerphone messages and inappropriate salsa dancing to name some. Then there was his awkwardness around a newcomer who would soon become a familair face and what a nice face it is. We meet ‘Aled’ for the first and despite the full on chat up lines in her first scene being a bit OTT, it was a great introduction that merely paced us slowly before we all fall in love with her the following week. I do wish she’d died in those denim shorts though. Gee, that sounded less creepy in my head.

Yet another new face appears in the form of the excellent Amanda Abbington as the cold, cynical Golda but sadly she is dispatched with before she can even confirm those Travelodge cancellations Her simpleton sidekick Kane is so slapstick it hurts. He brings some good lines as well as the cringe. I would try to find a Die Hard reference that would be apt but I can’t be arsed.

It’s an episode I always seem to enjoy more than I expect to and then I forget that I enjoyed it so much. Perhaps that’s just my old age.

 

5.2: Sticks And Rope

“Imagine having “Employee of the Month” written on your CV. Imagine having a CV”

Familiar in tone to A Spectre Calls, it has a ghost infiltrating Honolulu for nefarious reasons but this time in the form of a child named Oliver who claims to have been living there all along yet none of our trio think to question this daft statement. Alex gasps “Dead Victorian kids are so annoying” and she couldn’t be more spot on. They say never work with supernatural children or animals (something like that anyway) and this breaks one of those rules. Also, calling the episode Sticks And Rope, as well as Oliver stating early on that he was hiding from the very men who hold them, we hardly needed a leap in imagination to know where things were headed. It was as heavily signposted as the Kirby episode.

The premise here was to show the merging of the two worlds, hell and earth (perhaps it should have been called ‘Hell On earth’?) and this is most effective when the Captain turns full on evil like when he redesigns Honolulu in order to trap Alex and Oliver. Not forgetting of course, making Patsy bleed from her eyeballs as he mouths a gloriously nasty speech. However, If all Hatch needed for fuel was a werewolf and vampire at loggerheads in close proximatey then why did he never pick up on George and Mitchell fighting? He should have been having a field day during the cage fight in series three. There was enough hatred to blow the gates of hell wide open there and then. I know what your thinking, because Hatch hadn’t been written then but it’s something that is pretty glaring and needed explanation. We also got to see the evil morris dancers finally, something we never thought would happen, and it was a bit of a disapointment. Not just because they weren’t waving neckerchiefs but also because they could never live up to each of our own ideas on what they were. Some things are best left to the imagination. Like Nancy arresting me and giving me a cavity search. Erm, moving on..

Sadly Rook is hampered by being stuck with Crumb. Poor guy, must have done something wrong in a previous life. Much has been said about Crumb in the fandom and my views aren’t a secret. It felt like he was single-handedly trying to ruin the series. When it’s away from Hal and Tom’s workplace duel things don’t quite click and I still can’t put my finger on why. I remember saying in my review at the time that there was something about the humour and scarier moments (which aren’t very frightening) that didn’t quite hit their mark and I stand by that now.

“But Michael” I hear you scream, “What about the good points?!” I was getting to that don’t you worry..Alex really blossoms in her sole headline plot despite the limitations she has to work with and it was a nice touch to see her with her brothers both before and after her death. Also, the quite barmy idea that an employee of the month competition is being organised by Hatch to help open the gates of hell is to be praised for the sheer bare faced lunacy of it all. It gives us Tom and Hal at their bickering best. They trade insults with “git with a big weird face” being the standout and it soon escalates into a chaotic food fight. When it matters though, it is nice to see Hal sticking up for Tom when it really matters.

On another note entirely, it also made me say “what in the name of little baby cheeses” a lot in my everyday life even though I have no idea what it means.

 

5.4: The Greater Good

“All we’re doing is marking time until the inevitable happens”

There’s a saying that goes “too many cooks spoil the broth” and well.. Honolulu has three new inhabitants this time round and two of them are rubbish. Hal becomes life coach to Crumb and Alan but perhaps giving acting lessons would have been more appropriate. Crumbs gurns and wriggles his way through every scene he’s in, even ruining an otherwise funny montage sequence.

The Greater Good stands tallest with Tom emotionally maturing before our eyes. In a role reversal from Pie And Prejudice, he is now mentor to a werewolf – the wet behind the ears Bobby Grand Barry Speaking (his actual full name, probably). He takes Bobby under his hairy wings and teaches him all about the runnings of a supernaturally infested hotel. What on earth could possibly go wrong? The exchanges between the pair are genuinely sweet, funny and affecting and brought much needed sense to a very confused episode.

Rook finally keeps good acting company but very bad fictional company as he plays a game of cards with the devil. We’ve all been there haven’t we? The werewolf transformation, which by this stage had become a forgotten part of the Being Human set up returns as Bobby is released into the hotel but it simply looks like a man in a costume. Yes, I do know it’s EXACTLY a man in a costume but to have a werewolf just standing and walking around the hotel,  controlled by barked orders (barked, get it?) takes away the threat level that we’ve been taught about for five years. This danger is nullified further by Tom managing to, mid transformation, find his way from the woods, run through town and then trap Bobby away in a room. It just doesn’t sit right. Or perhaps everybody on Barry Island is excessively hairy and walks around naked all the time?

Another highlight is when Crumb dies. Yeah, I said it. I’m a kind person, empathetic even. I donate to charities, I’ve helped old ladies cross the road but I have my moments of weakness and I cheered when he carked it. Still to this day I do not understand his purpose. It was basically the Lauren / Mitchell story rehashed. People have said he was a mirror for Hal, to be his conscience but we know very well that good Hal has a conscience anyway and this leads us to another problematic issue – Hal’s “split personality”. As he’s tied up (not for the first or last time it must be noted) he shuts down and wakes up like an evil Synth. His panic making way for Bad Hal before he shuts down again and says “he was here wasn’t he?” By hinting that good Hal and Bad Hal are two separate entities it gives the audience more of an excuse to forgive him for his actions. Put simply, Hal has never separated the good/evil side in such a way before. He’s spent fifty five years fighting temptation but he’s always referred to himself in the first person. The manner in which this breakdown is shown suggests two personalities and if that’s how it was intended, seems too much of a cop out. Hey ho, at least my friend Su does a brilliant drunken impression of “bad breakdown Hal” so at least the scene gave us that.

 

And the winner..er.. I mean  loser is…

The Greater Good

 

What I’ve learnt:

Here’s the science bit, concentrate. I enjoyed watching these. That’s it. So my lesson to you all is this – If ever you decide that writing a blog of your least favourite episodes from your favourite ever TV show would be a different and unique take on things… don’t do it. So if you’ve read this, you’ve wasted your time. Sorry about that. Even while being hyper critical this has somehow still ended up as a love letter. Being Human is awesome. The show that is. Being a real life human is… complicated. Stick with fiction, guys. That reminds me, I need to write some fanfic where Nancy recruits me sexily and we go on a murderous rampage and kill twenty people in Legoland. The Brick Tunnel 20 I’ll call it. .